"O" No! I'm Insufferable!

Today's post:

Whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, groan...Whine, whine, moan, whine, groan, moan, whine, whine, whine! (x 10,0000000000000)

I still haven't ovulated.

"What? You're still obsessing about that?".....you're all yelling?

Uh-huh! I've had two positive OPKs now, but my BBT hasn't fallen, so I know it hasn't happened yet. Whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, groan...

My brain is incapable of thinking about anything else except ovulation and sex right now! Yes, I am a mad woman on heat! I don't know how much more my poor hubby can take of me bugging him for sex - he's so deprived of sleep, but I've already warned him that he has to make a "deposit" everyday for at least the next three days! So much for raw, spontaneous sex huh!

But the fact is, none of this sexercise matters if I haven't ovulated yet. Whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, groan... (x another 10,0000000000000) So I thought I would double check with my TCM doc.

He read my pulse. He told me that I had not ovulated.

Yup. Based on my basal body temperature (BBT), he's just about 100% right. I didn't even tell him a single thing about my OPKs, or BBTs. Isn't it really scary how much my TCM doc knows about my body simply by reading the pulse on my wrists? He normally takes a reading from both my wrists - right side for qi, and left side for blood circulation, but even though he has been handicapped because my right wrist was "unavailable" (due to the injury), his supersonic fingers "heard" what my ovaries were saying! Freaky!

So after a bit more whining and moaning from me, he assured me that my condition was actually still good considering what my body's been through with the injury. He said it's likely that my O has been delayed because of that ie, some of the qi and energy in my body has been diverted to heal my cuts. OK-that's a pretty logical answer. My wounds have indeed been healing pretty well. The stitches on my palm have been out for 4 days now.

My wrist is still stitched up and looks nasty, but it's starting to turn pink like the rest of my arm. There's no feeling on the skin though. According to the doctor, the nerves have been severed but they do grow back, albeit at 1 mm a day. Not bad, except he says that nerves have to regrow from our back, which according to my calculation, based on the length it has to grow, it will take about 3 years to get to my wrist! Bring out the symphony again --

Whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, groan...Whine, whine, moan, whine, groan, moan, whine, whine, whine! (x 10,0000000000000)....

Let's hope I have something to cheer about tomorrow... Go O! Go O! Go! Go! GO!

Pretty puhleeze....

Waiting...

Ooooh! I am so busting to go to the toilet but I have to wait another hour. I am desperately trying to fulfill the 4-hour recommended wait before peeing on the ovulation predictor kit. So hopefully writing here will take my mind off any fantasies about peeing!

And here's the latest update about my little skin - it's still alive! Woohoo!

If only I could describe in words the anxiety I felt as the doctor was peeling away the bandages... It's crazy trying to anticipate what I would see under there. Is it grey? Is it black? Is it dead? Will we have to snip it away? Please be alive, puhleeeeeze!

But as the wound was slowly revealed, I saw purplish and red blotches! According to the doctor, it's good news! Overall it looked red, and the blood supply is getting through. The skin is still hanging in there, literally too! The purple blotches were blood clots, but he said that would slowly be reabsorbed into the body. There were some watery blisters too, which he had to pop with a needle. It was so strange because I didn't feel a thing--there was no sensation there at all. But he said I wasn't out of the woods yet. It could turn necrotic--that's the medical fancy schmancy way of simply saying - dead! And even worse, the possibility of an infection, which would kill all my chances of keeping my skin. So he slapped on the antiseptic cream and bandaged me up. The other cut is doing really well though so there is no concern there.

Maybe eating all that special wound-healing fish soup actually helps with the healing. And perhaps my constant incessant instructive orders to my brain to heal my wound is helping too (if my brain were another person it would probably be very annoyed with me!) I am constantly visualizing the healing in my head- the blood and chi flowing to the skin, healing nicely and getting better (just so my brain gets the picture what it should be doing! No misunderstanding there!)

On the fertility front, it's CD16 today and I should be ovulating anytime soon, usually around CD19. So its POAS time! I think I've amassed some 200 bucks worth of OPKs in my collection for this. Shhh! Don't tell my husband!

And I've diligently gone in today for my electro-acupuncture and moxa, now No.7 for this cycle. I really don't know what my chances are of conceiving this month, with all the stress my body's gone under, including drugs I've been pumping into my body ie, antibiotics, tetanus shot, anesthetic, plus I'm due for some dental work tomorrow. More stress. Drilling! Aaaargh! My TCM doc said my heat level fell a little from yesterday (it amazes me how he is able to keep track or quantify something so intangible and subjective). I feel my odds are probably lower, so that sucks!

There's nothing much else I can do now. So I'm waiting to pee, waiting for my skin to heal, waiting for me to ovulate, waiting to get pregnant. Sigh! Don't you sometimes feel that you spend most of your life just w..a...i....t....i......n........g?

A Day In The Life of Zengirl

My heart sank when I went to the hospital today to have my wound checked - the flap of skin on my wrist had turned gray. And the doctor said it didn't look good. It means that the skin had not been getting much blood supply and it's dying. He did say that it was still early and that he would leave it there till my next check-up in 2 day's time. Oh, my dear little skin-please live!

But on the TCM front, I seem to be doing quite well - despite the fact that I had gone out to party last night and stayed out till 5 in the morning! We had a triple date with some friends who had flown in from Sydney. The two couples who have 5 kids between them got somebody to baby sit all their kids, and it was going to be an all-adults wild night out, which was so rare! Woohoo! My part-Mummy, part-Frankenstein arm was not going to stop me!

We went for a lovely dinner at a Balineses restaurant. I gave in to the temptation of an icy cold non-alcoholic Lemongrass Mojito (YUM!) and I thought I'd counteract that with lamb, which apparently is warming. Maybe it worked. Our Sydney friends wanted to go dancing after, and sadly, we had no idea where to take them. We (the other 2 couples) have not gone clubbing like for at least a decade! How sad is that? They asked me when was the last time we went dancing---"Ummm....On my wedding day 10 years ago???" Tragic! Well, we did find our way to a strip where all the "happening" clubs were and after sussing them all out, we found one with music that we liked. Dancing. Pool. More cold drinks (eeek!). Chit-chatting (or more like shouting across the deafening music. Ringing ears after. We stayed till they closed (is that cool?) and adjourned for supper at a 24-hour place and ate and talked some more till the crack of dawn! It was so much fun! It was an incredible and one rare night for us late thirty/early forty somethings!

And SO! What was my TCM doc gonna say about last night? Surprisingly, my heat levels have gone back up and are staying there despite the cold drinks and the trauma my hand's gone through. He wasn't too happy about the cold drinks though...

So I had Moxa No.6 today. He's giving me a break tomorrow though. Yay! I've been spending so much time at his clinic-I'm there everyday. It's kinda interesting hanging out there though, seeing all sorts of patients come through. Today they got a call informing them that a famous celebrity was coming in . So all of us at the clinic were gossiping and guessing who it could be. Within minutes, a pretty young woman walked in with her father. Apparently it's a famous actress and VJ. I don't know who she was, so it was kinda anti-climatic. Oh well!

Anyway, back to my unglamorous life, I'm doing all I can now to help my wounds heal well. My TCM doc recommended juicing some aloe vera with red apples (with a bit of ginger to counteract its cooling properties), and having that once a day. And also making a soup from a special type of fish called the snakehead or Channa Striatus, which supposedly has anti microbial, anti inflammatory and wound healing properties. I had no idea where to get any of these ingredients except the apples, so it was speed-dial Mom 911 time! Amazingly, she managed to get some aloe vera from her neighbor's garden and find the fish too! My mum's so great! She comes through for me every time!

So that's pretty much a day in the life of me. Snore, snore! I wonder who reads this stuff???