Monster Egg

Ms.RJ1 has turned into a MONSTER!

Today she measured in at 30mm!!! WTF? That's about 1 1/4 inch in diameter!

Apparently she found my ovary too comfortable and did not want to leave! The u/s scan showed that she's looking a bit whitish, which means that she will not ovulate. She is turning into a cyst, which will hopefully dissolve eventually (keeping my fingers crossed).

Dr.Never GiveUp came to a few conclusions about my state:

THE BAD:

I have Luteinizing Unruptured Follicle Syndrome (LUFS of LUF) which may be caused by 2 things:

1. Insufficient luteinizing hormone (LH) to trigger ovulation. LH is produced by the pituitary gland, therefore this may point to a problem with my pituitary gland
2. There is a problem in the quality of my egg (Surprise!Surprise!) whereby the "shell" may too tough for the egg to break through, even with sufficient LH

Dr.Never GiveUp noted that I did show a LH surge in my OPK, and from his years of experience, feels that the problem usually does not lie with LH production, but more towards the egg quality. He told me not to worry as he had many patients with this problem and that his chinese herbal medicine (TCM) will help in my case. He said that it is not possible to treat the pituitary gland so to speak, but he will continue to concentrate on improving egg quality.

My lining has thickened to 18mm which means that I should expect AF within the next few days.

THE GOOD:

"At least you're producing eggs!" His exact words. Whoopee???

The Itch Bitch is gone! Good riddance!

I am super horny again. And I am producing abundant clearish cervical mucous (CM), which is very strange to me during this part of the cycle. I know it couldn't possible be fertile CM since Ms.Monster is way past her fertile peak already. I asked Dr.Never GiveUp about the CM and he explained that a healthy woman typically produces 2 types of clear CM: estrogen mucous around ovulation, and progesterone mucous a few days before her period. Her sex drive will also peak around these times. Well, no wonder I'm so horny! He asked me if I my sex drive increased during these times. Since I am producing the progesterone mucous now, he would know that I was horny! I was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I told him it did, where previously I did not have this pre AF symptom. This means that my body is actually improving with all these subtle signs. Good to know that something is working!

October Sex Fest Back On!

After bawling my eyes out for two days, the OPK finally decided to turn positive on CD21! I'm ecstatic. But what a roller coaster ride it's been. I've been POAS like an addicted lunatic since CD15. And it had been very hard seeing a negative, one after another, especially with the high expectations I've been having. I really wanted this cycle to be an improvement on the last one, since I've been doing so well with the intensive moxa sessions, acupuncture and herbs. Seeing an improvement was especially important as I had just passed the one year mark of starting TCM treatments. But peeing on those damn sticks had been one big disappointment after another, day after day.

I've never even felt this devastated with BFNs for pregnancies. At least I knew I was given a shot at it. With no egg around, it felt like I wasn't even given a chance! And that really shattered me. And with all the additional bad luck I've had to deal with recently, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. But then, someone must have pitied me and given me a break. Although there's no guarantee, hopefully with the Luteinizing Hormone surge, it really means that ovulation is going to happen. Here's a pic of how the OPKs have been teasing and taunting me. (These are the lucky few I picked from the mountain of peed OPKs sitting on my dresser! I didn't want to show them all, incase you thought I was nuts or something ;-) Read from bottom to top. It's positive when the left blue line is similar or darker than the right line)

So all is good for now, and it's all systems go with hubby now! I might have to face another episode of devastation in a couple of weeks if AF comes, and I don't know how I will be able to handle it. But for now, I have a chance, and I am going to make my damndest best of it!