Peed $25 Away Today

I caved in and POAS today - 10DPO (CD 44). And all I got was a

BIG

FAT 

NEGATIVE!


I mean, really, what was I expecting? A miracle??!?

Yeah. Actually, I was. I was hoping for some wonderful news to lift me out of my misery. Well, I should've known better - hoping and wishing with all your might isn't how you make babies. At least not in my case. Not even with all the help I'm getting from my TCM docs. Being electrocuted, pricked a million times over with needles, and drinking stinking black potions have not done the trick for me. Maybe it's just not enough.

This is the last month we're supposed to try au naturel, with a boost from TCM. I can't figure out why it worked a year ago, but not again since the m/c. Is that all god wants for me in my life - just a taste of pregnancy that lasts only a few weeks? Is that all I deserve?

I'm so hoping for a BFP this cycle so we won't have to go into invasive procedures . But it looks like we''ll have to break the bank and get a whole team of people involved to help us get pregnant. It seems like the drama of having a baby is going to be more epic than I ever imagined it to be for myself...

Anyways, I'm taking some time off from my blog, and I'll catch up with you when I get back. Tomorrow, I'll be heading for Vacation Hell No.2. with the in-laws! Hooray!