Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Sex Nightmare

Well, I am not talking about a movie or a dream, but as usual, it is my damn high-drama IF life.

WARNING: This is a TMI post!

It's 6DPO this Halloween, and still feeling a bit frisky, I thought it would be ok to have a little luvin'. I certainly remember Dr.NeverGiveUp's advice about not having sex 3-4 days prior to AF (read here and here). And I thought I was still in the clear.

Well, hubs and I were both shocked to discover brown discharge halfway through it. It did not start out this way, nor was I spotting before. Could we have induced another early period with sex again?  I mean it's another 8 days till my period is due! WTF? The brown spotting has not increased but it has not stopped. Do I have some crappy incompetent cervix that can't keep my lining in somehow?

My nipples are still sore, but it's less intense now. My BBT is still relatively low-I think it indicates my progesterone production is still not great. And I've been feeling very crampy and bloated the last couple of days, though it has subsided. And some of the blood from my so called "beautiful" lining has shed-I think that's what the brown stuff was. Shit! Things don't look good. There goes my BFP. 

It's been a hell of a Halloween! Hope yours was better.

Friday, October 29, 2010

LUFS Has Left The Building!

I am now officially in my hair clenching, symptom-obsessed 2WW now.

I went in for my u/s scan today and Dr.NeverGiveUp confirms that the 14mm follicle is no longer visible. This is music to my ears because it means that I have.....OVULATED! Take that you Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome (LUFS)! Last cycle, my egg did not manage to release even though I had an LH surge, and Dr.NeverGiveUp had scribbled in huge letters over my chart- "LUFS"! Hah!

He tells me that ovulation happened most likely on CD20, which was consistent with the predicted maturity of my follicle based on the last scan, and also by the surge of my BBT.

It is now 4DPO (CD25) and I have another 10days more to drive myself insane wondering if I'm preggers or not. Three days ago, I had already started obsessing because my nipples started to get sore, which I don't normally experience. And I felt a wave of nausea that lasted a few seconds last night. I know it's just paranoia - I can't possibly be pregnant yet because it's too early, and implantation hasn't even happened yet. Of course I had to ask Dr.NeverGiveUp if a woman is able to feel pregnant before implantation, and of course he said no! Well, my nipples are still sore! It's probably just the naturally released progesterone talking through my nipples!

But Dr.NeverGiveUp's fertility forecast for me is positively good. He tells me that I have a good chance in getting pregnant this cycle because I ovulated as I should have, we had well timed sex, my BBT surge is looking good and my lining looks very, very fertile. His herbal medication should also help with my progesterone production.  The only concern we have is where the embryo will implant itself. If it can avoid my fibroid/adeno mass (Ms.Nasty), then it has a good chance of survival. He reassured me by telling me that 2 of his patients with the exact same fibroid location as mine managed to get pregnant successfully, as the embryo had implanted itself away from that mass.

So, keeping a positive face, I am going to assume that Mr.Dashing Sperm has met Ms.RJ2 and had a blast(ocyst)! Please be a little good blastocyst and do your thing now OK-just find a great little spot far away as possible from Ms.Nasty and stay put!  :-)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Possible Ms.RJ2 Sighted!!

I went in for another u/s scan yesterday, CD17, to see what's up with my eggs. Here's what the scan said:

I have a 14mm follicle still in there, which I will now call Ms.RJ2 (my second egg since going on Royal Jelly) A week ago there were two - a 8mm and a 5mm. I don't know what happened to the second follicle. Maybe it ovulated or maybe it did a houdini? I don't know. Well, I've actually read about women who ovulated twice in a cycle--I'd never be that lucky, but who knows? My eggs are a bit of a delinquent freak!

But Dr.NeverGiveUp thinks that we should assume that I have not ovulated and that we still have a shot with this egg. According to my historical data (actually last month's chart) and the looks of this egg, he predicts that I will ovulate around CD20. So we've got our game plan on... What else but sex, sex, sex in the coming week!

And oh! Dr.NeverGiveUp gave me a nice compliment - he said my lining was very, very beautiful! I should be flattered!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Ovulation Mystery

Yikes! I might have missed my ovulation date this cycle!

I went in for my u/s scan yesterday, which was CD16 and the scan was inconclusive. Dr.NeverGiveUp said that the follicles looked unclear, which may indicate that I might have just ovulated. WHAT? The odds of that is pretty low, considering my history of no-show eggs or extremely late ovulation. So if I did ovulate this early, it's quite a shocker!

I POAS today, CD17, to see if there is an LH surge on the OPK. Well, the test line is almost as dark as the control line. This could mean 2 things - the LH is building up and I will ovulate soon, or that I am catching the tail end of the surge. Aaarghh! Wish I knew which it was! My BBT has also been pretty low all this cycle. I am to go in on Friday to have another scan to reevaluate where I'm at. Hopefully we'll know what's happening then.

Right now I am so confused. But still hopeful.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Potential Ms.RJ II

So I am in the egg-nurturing phase now, to make sure I get a lovely egg this cycle. The u/s scan today revealed that I have 2 potential "Ms.RJ the Second" in my right ovary. It's CD11 and they measure 8mm and 5mm currently.

Other than that, there's nothing much to report. Well, maybe I can tell you that my libido's great, my mood's great and my weight loss has been going great:

Hubs really loves the effect that Dr.NeverGiveUp's meds are having on me. He loves them because I am always horny for him and he tells me my mood is always good these days. I am never irritable and I don't get upset over little things anymore. He can never tell when I am PMS-ing or when my period's coming. He feels like I am more like what I used to be when we were first married.  He calls them mood-enhancing drugs and he wants me to be on them. Forever!

And I am about 2.5 points away from the healthy range of the Body Mass Index now. I can't believe I let myself put on so much weight since my miscarriage last year. I'm really worried about additional health problems if I get pregnant at the weight I am now. But all this exercise and portion control has been helping a great deal. Hubs thinks the weight loss has been visible and he feels I am beginning to look sexy now - "Delicious!" were his words to me today! LOL! That's been really encouraging. So I'm not gonna stop now till I look "HOT"!!!

(Then I can put it all back on for the baby.... Eeeek!)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Looking At the Bright Side

As disappointing as this past cycle has been for me, Dr.NeverGiveUp tried to focus on the good things today.

  • Ms.RJ1, the monster egg-cum-cyst has disappeared! Today's u/s scan revealed that she is gone! The red tide must have "flushed" her out!

  • He thinks my cycles are getting shorter and I am producing eggs earlier. Although I've had better cycles 2 years ago, it is obvious that my fertility has gone worse with age. My first cycle under his care was 51 days. Followed by a non-ovulatory 36-day cycle. Then a 37-day cycle with ovulation on CD23. And most recently, a 35-day cycle with a luteinized follicle on Day 20, even though it didn't ovulate. Not exactly champagne breaking news, but it's not bad.

    It's CD4 today. The pain has been intermittent but I think the worst is over. My hormones are beginning to rage. I can feel my sex drive surging again. I swear-this is ALL Dr.NeverGiveUp's doing!  :-O

    Tuesday, October 5, 2010

    The End Has Come

    It is official:

    Another cycle has bitten the dust. It's CD1 today.

    I started feeling really tired and crampy yesterday. Thinking that some exercise would do me some good, you know, get the blood circulation going a bit, I managed to drag myself to the gym and came home to find that I had begun to spot. I knew that the end was near.

    Today the pain started to get quite bad. I hadn't felt such pain in a while. I hadn't taken any Fibrovan since I last ran out about a month back. Maybe it did help with the pain while I was on it. Thankfully I had some of Dr.NeverGiveup's amazing TCM pain herbal medicine and took that. Within half an hour, the pain had subsided to a manageable level. Within a few hours, the flow started going. It was at that point that I began to feel relief. It was as if my ute was cramping hard trying to expel the lining, causing me pain, but once it started shedding, it started to ease up. Before, I used to cramp all the time, consistently for a few days. The difference now is that the cramping has decreased and is more focused. Every time I get a round of cramps, I can understand specifically what my body is trying to do now. And it's amazing how quickly my ute eases off once some blood is shed. A direct cause and effect. The relief is almost immediate! That's pretty amusing to me!

    I'm glad this lousy cycle has finally come to an end. The good news is that I actually produced follicles much earlier this past cycle, and that my cycle has shortened to 35 days. The bad news is that I didn't actually ovulate.

    Goodbye Ms.RJ1. You're like a guest who has overstayed your welcome. Hope you're gone!

    Friday, October 1, 2010

    Monster Egg

    Ms.RJ1 has turned into a MONSTER!

    Today she measured in at 30mm!!! WTF? That's about 1 1/4 inch in diameter!

    Apparently she found my ovary too comfortable and did not want to leave! The u/s scan showed that she's looking a bit whitish, which means that she will not ovulate. She is turning into a cyst, which will hopefully dissolve eventually (keeping my fingers crossed).

    Dr.Never GiveUp came to a few conclusions about my state:

    THE BAD:

    I have Luteinizing Unruptured Follicle Syndrome (LUFS of LUF) which may be caused by 2 things:

    1. Insufficient luteinizing hormone (LH) to trigger ovulation. LH is produced by the pituitary gland, therefore this may point to a problem with my pituitary gland
    2. There is a problem in the quality of my egg (Surprise!Surprise!) whereby the "shell" may too tough for the egg to break through, even with sufficient LH
    Dr.Never GiveUp noted that I did show a LH surge in my OPK, and from his years of experience, feels that the problem usually does not lie with LH production, but more towards the egg quality. He told me not to worry as he had many patients with this problem and that his chinese herbal medicine (TCM) will help in my case. He said that it is not possible to treat the pituitary gland so to speak, but he will continue to concentrate on improving egg quality.

    My lining has thickened to 18mm which means that I should expect AF within the next few days.


    "At least you're producing eggs!" His exact words. Whoopee???

    The Itch Bitch is gone! Good riddance!

    I am super horny again. And I am producing abundant clearish cervical mucous (CM), which is very strange to me during this part of the cycle. I know it couldn't possible be fertile CM since Ms.Monster is way past her fertile peak already. I asked Dr.Never GiveUp about the CM and he explained that a healthy woman typically produces 2 types of clear CM: estrogen mucous around ovulation, and progesterone mucous a few days before her period. Her sex drive will also peak around these times. Well, no wonder I'm so horny! He asked me if I my sex drive increased during these times. Since I am producing the progesterone mucous now, he would know that I was horny! I was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I told him it did, where previously I did not have this pre AF symptom. This means that my body is actually improving with all these subtle signs. Good to know that something is working!