Saturday, July 31, 2010

This Week's Excite-O-Meter

My trip to see Dr. Don'tGiveUp this week resulted in some pretty interesting "news".

Here's how they rate according to my Excite-o-meter, where 0 = not excited at all, and 10 = is super excited.

>>Ms. Nasty, my uterine-fibroid-slash-adenomyosis-slash-endometriosis-mass-near-my-ass remains as stubborn as ever. I was hoping that it would have shrunk itself into oblivion from the Fibrovan I've been taking, but sadly, the u/s scan shows that it has remained unchanged since the last 10mm shrinkage. I haz a very sad.
Excite-o-meter Level: minus 347

>>Again, Dr.Don'tGive Up reports to me that another patient of his has just gotten pregnant (who happens to be the patient in line before me. Gawdamnit! Read about the other pregnant woman in line before me . If you wanna get pregnant, forget IVF, forget TCM! Just be the one in line before me-Pregnancy guaranteed!). Anyway, she's obese, has one son already but was infertile for 3 years trying for her second child. It only took her one month to conceive under his care. (Ugh! You call that infertile?) I was totally not excited about any of this-except for the fact that he has classified her as another unusual case. He didn't say what her diagnosis was but he showed me her BBT chart, which was all over the place! There were dips and spikes in all the wrong places, and surprisingly, her temp got lower and lower. There was absolutely no sign of any pregnant triphasic pattern, or biphasic pattern either. In fact her temp has plunged to 36.0˚F. Dr.Don'tGiveUp stared at her chart silently, in awe and confusion. He said her chart showed that she couldn't possibly be pregnant with her temps, but her u/s scan and urine test proved she was. He thinks that there may be a fault in her temperature taking, but he wanted to show me that women still get pregnant despite the unlikeliness of the situation. He told me not to worry. Women do get pregnant against the odds. So I got a teeny weeny bit excited about it.
Excite-o-meter Level: 

>>I learned about the dangers about ultrasound scan. Since my MIL seems to be very concerned about me having u/s scans every week, I asked if sound waves could damage my eggs. I also asked if there was any harm to a foetus or embryo especially at an early stage. He replied that a transvaginal scan (the all-seeing phallic sonic probe which they stick up your cha-cha) could pose a danger because it is very near the gestational sac - which is only a couple of inches away from the source of the sound waves. And he wouldn't recommend it during the very early stages of pregnancy. Besides he doesn't want any early-pregnant woman having something stuck up her va-jay-jay or even having sex (up till at least 28DPO, if I can remember correctly from a previous conversation). He added that most doctors wouldn't bother to study about the effects of ultrasound scanning but he spent $20,000 on a course to learn about it in detail, and understands it well. He said that yes, theoretically, ultrasound can be harmful because vibrations can cause damage to a very young gestational sac, but it cannot be clinically proven because nobody would want to mess around with a human life just to prove it. It's also very, very hard to prove. The harm may also be very small-therefore considered negligible, depending on who's looking at the data. As for u/s scanning the eggs on a full bladder, the sound waves are traveling through more layers of tissue and water and so it's not that harmful by the time it gets to the eggs. If you're paranoid like me, avoid the cha-cha wand during very early pregnancy! After spending thousands of dollars and millions of tears, paranoia is acceptable. 
Excite-o-meter Level: 5

>>I found out that Dr.Don'tGiveUp is a Christian. We told him that we'd made plans to visit the ancient ruins of Borobudur in Indonesia in August and he told us that he had been there. 30 years ago, he spent one month in Indonesia traveling across the islands of Java and Bali doing mission work with his church. Normally a doctor's spiritual orientation wouldn't matter to me, but I find it very comforting to know that my doctor and I are on a common spiritual path. After all, I believe that god answered my prayers when I asked for a doctor who combines Eastern and Western medicine, as I found him the very next day! I would like to think that god is working through him to answer my prayers (hopefully!) And knowing that he believes in the same god I do feels reassuring.
Excite-o-meter Level: 7

>>I was very excited about getting my blood tested again after being 3 months on his meds. I really want to see what my FSH is doing, along with my other hormones. Dr.Don'tGiveUp and I were talking about possible ovarian failure due to me not ovulating some months and the poor quality of my eggs. I was spotting a lot prior to AF this past cycle which indicated poor progesterone levels, resulting in a poor,  weak lining. This is also another indication of poor quality eggs. But he doesn't want to jump to any conclusions just yet and will wait for the blood test to see. Even though my FSH was bafflingly low 3 months ago, my prognosis could be worse now, with possible POF (premature ovarian failure) in the cards. But I am eager to confront it and face it head on! I can't wait to get the results back!
Excite-o-meter Level: 8

>>And BTW, he's got needle skillz! He knows his veins! I've been traumatized by incompetent doctors who think that taking blood is a bloody treasure hunt. They've pricked me all over to find blood, even behind my knuckles! Maybe fun for them, but not so for me! Dr.Don'tGiveUp hit the jackpot at first prick! He's done this twice now, perfectly. I never have to worry about giving him blood anymore! 
Excite-o-meter Level: 8.5

>>Knowing that I was getting kinda worried about adding POF to an already long list of fertility problems that would circle the globe twice, he told me not to worry. He said that he has invented a new treatment! I was thinking, "Wow! Who invents new treatments for fertility? Nobody has invented anything new for infertility in years!" So I flooded him with questions about it but he wouldn't tell me much. Dang! All I managed to squeeze from him was that, he was testing it now with some of his patients and it has proven to be effective so far--but he wanted to observe it a bit longer; it involves a few more steps (I'm dying to know what), it would cost a bit more (Oh! What the hell!); it wouldn't require me coming to the clinic more often (Yay!), and that he would introduce it to me in about two weeks' time. OMG! OMG! OMG! I am sooooo super duper excited! Can I please, please, please try it ASAP??!!!! I'll be your guinea pig! My sorry state of a reproductive non-productive system needs ALL the help it can get! 
Excite-o-meter Level: 1,000,000,000!!! 

My excite-o-meter has gone through the roof with the last one!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


It's CD2 and I am in NO PAIN! 

What? Did these words just come out of a "Premium" Endo Sufferer? 

Yup! They did. Totally UNBELIEVABLE, but I'm doing a little jig and am having a great CD2! 

My celebration is probably a little bit premature though, seeing as I'm hardly bleeding! Does this even count as a period since my ute didn't even behave like a normal one this past month? After all, my eggs did do a Houdini on me! Oh my gawd! Am I in menopause?

But despite the fact that everything that can go wrong in a cycle did go wrong with me, I've been unusually happy (ok-this can't be menopause). This past few weeks, it feels like an invisible rock's been lifted off my shoulders, and I would take delight in the silliest little things:

Just the other night, I was looking at a few Tintin comic books that hubs just bought (he collects them) and decided that the dog Snowy was my favorite character. Who wouldn't find a talking, opinionated, smart-ass dog whom nobody can hear, adorable? Then I started telling hubs about a dog I had, as a child, that was named Snowy too. The conversation went like this,

"Did you know that I had a white dog named Snowy? ...And a brown dog named Browny? ...And a black dog named Blackie? ...And a cat named Kitty?....." 

...Followed by uncontrollable fits of deep, belly-shaking, lung-ripping, oh-my-god-I-can't-breathe laughter! It had just dawned on me that my mother had the most uncreative names for our pets. And I just found that absolutely hilarious! I laughed so hard! I mean, okay, it's funny, but on a normal day, I probably wouldn't find it that funny! 

(Just for the record, I also had a dog named Brandy and a dog named Whiskey! All mom's doing! Hubs family does a lot better in the naming department. When we were married, I inherited their black dog which hubs originally wanted to name Carbon! OMG! ROTFL!!! But he thought, wait, what a dumb-ass name for a dog, so they chose Diamond~another form of carbon. Now, that is cool! But then again, they did name their sausage dog (dachshund) Flappy-because its ears would flap when she came running! And just for the record, again, I too had a sausage dog named Jessie, and a second sausage dog named Jessie 2 and a third sausage dog named Jessie the Third! My mom's a creative genius with names!!! ) 

And just last week, hubs and I went to watch Predators because Inception was all sold out, and during one of the goriest scenes, I laughed out so loud because it seemed fascinatingly, ridiculously funny. It was odd because I suddenly realized nobody else was laughing!

Anyway, the point is, I've been laughing a lot! Could this be a hormonal thing, disastrous as mine is? 

Monday, July 26, 2010

Totally Thrown Off-Guard

Woke up today - still sleepy.

BBT is low - same old story.

Not ovulating - same old crap.

Take TCM pills - the usual truckload.

Evening TP wipe - blood.



CD1 already?

Not even a chance to ovulate?

A  #@*&!$  non-ovulatory cycle.

My future baby never even had a chance this cycle.

Oh well...!


Situation Normal - All Fucked Up!

(Picture courtesy of Zoey. With head in spirulina box.)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Sucky Scan

It's CD 32. My ultrasound scan today revealed no eggs.

WHAT? (See my avatar-My eyes popped out like that!)

Could I have ovulated?


My BBT hasn't risen.

And 4 days ago the eggs were still very, very tiny. Could they have grown in leaps and bounds and ovulated 
all within 4 days?


And I thought I might see a fat ripe follicle growing today too. Ppphhhhffft!

Dr.NeverGiveUp says they may have dissolved due to lack of hormonal stimulation. Or something like that.

He's changing my herbal formula to boost my hormones.

And what was that tiny cramping 2 days ago that resulted in some spotting hours later?

He tells me it could be ovulation pain.


But I thought I couldn't have ovulated? Is he trying to be optimistic here?

And he tells me that the cyst last month has disappeared!


He never told me that I had one.

Could some aliens have abducted all my eggs? And cyst too? That would be a convenient explanation. It would be nice to know for once that it wasn't my fault my eggs disappeared.


And Dr.NeverGiveUp wants us to continue boinking like I might just have ovulated. I'm feeling so emotionally dejected now, but I've still got to get the sexy game going tonight. Doctor's orders!


(Note to self: Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Happy Girl =Happy Hormones.
Think Zen.
Feel Zen.
Be Zen.
My name is not RagingLunaticUpsetMadGirl..
I am Zengirl...)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mini IVF

Have you heard of the Mini-IVF?

I've never heard of it myself until I stumbled upon it recently while doing what desperate-infertile-women-seeking-fertility-miracles do on the internet.

If you've had to defer IVF because of money problems or you don't like drugs and injections much, you might wanna check out this procedure that was developed a few years ago in Japan. From what I understand, it does have quite a few advantages over regular IVF:

  • costs a lot less because less drugs are used
  • drugs are taken orally with no or minimal injections
  • no risk of ovarian hyperstimulation
  • older women or women with high FSH can be accepted for treatment
  • there is no waiting time between cycles if Mini-IVF fails because the body does not require a rest period due to fewer drugs and lower dosages used
  • fewer cancelled IVFs due to insufficient production of eggs because the Mini-IVF does not depend on high number of eggs
What I find interesting is that the goal of Mini-IVF is to produce fewer but "better quality" eggs. With regular IVF, the goal is to make the woman produce tons of eggs in hoping that a few out of the lot is usable. But here's the important bit that women need to know: 
  • women (particularly those above age 35) do not produce more than 2 good eggs in any cycle no matter what drugs were used or how much
  • generally, the best egg from any cycle comes from the largest follicle, regardless of what drugs were used or how much
From this, I deduce that pumping a woman with a ton of bank-breaking drugs and forcing loads of eggs out of one cycle is really quite pointless - especially if you're running out of eggs - because only a couple of those are your best candidates for pregnancy anyway. Doctors against Mini-IVF argue that because only one egg is used, then all your $$$ is gone if pregnancy fails to happen, whereas with IVF - though the initial outlay of money is so much higher - at least you have more eggs to work with and you can still use the eggs leftover from that stim cycle later on. The point for consideration is: are any of those leftover eggs any good? If not, IVF actually wipes out more of your money if it all fails.  

The reported success rate for Mini-IVF however is not as good as IVF though. But it seems that this is because of the parameters used - Mini-IVF only transfers one fertilized embryo at a time while IVF transfers multiple embryos at a time, which skew the results a bit. This procedure is also relatively new and there is insufficient data at the moment.

Basically, the main consideration for Mini-IVF is the cost saving for women. The toughest question women will have to answer for themselves is what the odds of success are vs money spent on each of the procedures. And how many attempts they can afford before successive failed Mini-IVFs negate their cost savings. 

Before you jump up and down with excitement, know that very few clinics are willing to provide this procedure. And some clinics may already being using a similar Mini-IVF protocol but don't call it that.

For more info on this topic, you can read about it here (scroll halfway), here and here. For professional opinions on this procedure look here.

Although I am not a good candidate for IVF and am focusing on TCM right now instead to help me get pregnant, I always like to know what my options are. Mini-IVF is not for me, at least not right now, but I hope some of you might find this info useful. I know quite a few women who had to give up IVF because they can't afford it. And it breaks my heart that money might be the only thing coming between them and their dream baby.  So maybe there is an option here for them. 


Before I go, I want to share with you a funny dream I had recently.

I dreamt that I was pursued by 3 men for the purpose of reproduction:

1) The first guy decided to go for a swim in the ocean and unfortunately, dived off a rock all wrong, and landed splat!... Flat in the water and destroyed any reproductive potential he had in his man parts! So moving on to candidate two...

2) I found out that it was Richard Gere who had the hots for me and was sitting at a cafe waiting for me. I happened to be walking around completely naked which strangely, nobody seemed to be making a fuss of. But then before anything happened, candidate no.3 interrupted the scene...

3) He came out of nowhere and grabbed my completely naked body from behind with his hands. While he tried to drag me off and subdue a frantic me, I was wondering why he wasn't even having an erection from my nakedness. (Yes, it's a good time to be having such thoughts while being kidnapped!) I mean, we were body to body and my butt was right up his crotch while he was holding me! I managed to free myself and ran for my life. He came after me. I lost him after a while and I ended up in a hotel room. I locked the door and waited, thinking I had lost him. But then after a few moments, he found me. I saw his shadow lurking underneath, outside my door. I panicked! He was going to barge down my door! Moments passed, yet nothing happened. Suddenly, a piece of paper was slipped under my door. And he left. I picked up the paper. On it, he said that he would like to make a baby with me. And if I agreed, he would pay me


Yeah right! If only I could!!!!  

Monday, July 19, 2010

Sales and Sex

Hi there!

Zengirl's back. Anyone miss me? Haha! I don't think so. 

I cannot believe that it's almost 2 weeks since my last post. Time flies when you've been shopping! 

You heard right folks! I've been on retail therapy. We went to Singapore for some R&R which turned out to be a serious shopping marathon. Has anyone told you that the country is just one huge giant shopping mall? Everything you need from ATMs to restaurants to nail salons are all reachable by foot in a giant network of malls and interconnecting walkways.  It seems that every subway train you take exits into a mall. And each mall is connected to another mall via some underground air-conditioned walkway. You can literally spend all of your time inside buildings during your entire stay there, not breathe the outside air, or see the sky. You would never know if there was a hurricane outside or if there was an alien invasion. You never have to step outdoors! Ever! 

One day, you might surface outside, a little dazed, exhausted, with lots of shopping bags in your hands and random thoughts like "Wow! I finally got out!" and "Ahhh! So this is real air...." and "So, this is what the outside looks like!" swim around your head while you try and re-orientate yourself. And because it's the "Great Singapore Sale", an actual event that hits the island country like it's a religious event, you're wondering if you could possibly be missing out on more shops with orgasmic sales. And with that thought, you're ready to go back into the labyrinth of malls with your last extended credit on your plastic.  

And I did. And I shopped till I dropped! Some of the sales were indeed fantastic! I got a few dresses and skirts for 75% off and 2 pairs of jeans for 50% off. I even bought some hiking shoes! Right! Like I'm going hiking anytime soon!!!

And when I got home, somehow the shopping fever stuck. The summer sales have just begun here and I picked up some more stuff! My favorite purchase over the weekend was a green handbag which I spotted last minute on the way to the cashier when the store was closing! And it's not over! Just a few hours ago, I bought a huge black leather hobo bag online that I can carry my entire life in! I swear--I am not high maintenance! Not usually! 

I haven't splurged on myself like this for yonks! And it feels damn good! I have been theraparized!

On the IF front, things haven't been very exiting. In fact it has been darn slow and dull. 

It's CD28 and I still haven't ovulated. It's going to be one of them long drawn-out cycles. Today, Dr.Don'tWorry could only see 4 follicles on my left ovary and 3 on my right. They're all very small still but one is emerging to be a dominant one on the left. My doctors don't seem to want to acknowledge that I have long cycles because they've been ordering us to boink like we were ovulating everyday, since CD11, whether there are eggs or not! I haven't had so much sex in months! And it's not like we can get out of it because we are expected to report back to them whether we followed their boinking schedule or not (which they chart in their records)! I suppose we could miss out on some scheduled nights, but I didn't want them to think that we're not doing all we can to get pregnant! Since we're supposed to be so desperate! And we left the clinic today with more "homework"-Last night we had sex, and we're to do it again tonight and Thursday.

And that's how it is with this TCM clinic. I eat their herbal pills, take my BBT and have sex:
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex.
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex.
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex.
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex.
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex.
Eat pills. Take BBT. Have sex  x 10,000,000,000,000,000!

And Dr.NeverGiveUp has been trying to convince me that this method works. During my last visit, he made it a point to tell me that the patient who went in just before me was already pregnant-Aged 39 like me, after 2 months at the clinic and previously TTC unsuccessfully for 3 years. (No wonder she was all smiles and had a spring to her walk when she came out). And he also said another patient also just found out she was pregnant after 8 months at the clinic and previously TTC unsuccessfully for 5 years. Thanks doc. Just rub it in!

And today, he did the same thing. As soon as I sat down, he broke out the "good" news that a patient got pregnant after 4 months in the clinic and previously TTC unsuccessfully for 3 years. Frustrated, I said to him, "Perhaps it was easier for her because she doesn't have the kinds of problems I have." I half expected him to agree with me but he did not. He replied that when it comes to infertility, it is very hard to say... How big our problems are do not always correlate with the length of time it takes to get pregnant. Some women with very simple problems could take a very long time to get pregnant, yet those with complex problems sometimes get pregnant within a matter of a few months!

Well, I am relieved to hear that. We infertiles wrack our brains and tear our hair out month after month wondering why we're not getting pregnant, even after doing everything right. But the truth is, even doctors don't really know everything. So, never let any doctor give you an ultimatum or stop you from thinking that you can get pregnant. They are not in the position to do so because simply - they just don't know every darn thing and intricate process that's going on inside your body! There may be obstacles, but doctors do not have absolute control of the fate of your fertility. Even though things may look bleak or tough, the miracle of pregnancy can still happen. Don't let anybody tell you or decide for you that you can't . 

Girls, Never, Never Give Up!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Red Pill

Neo took one (think Matrix). And it changed his life.

I'm taking one too. (Actually, bottles of it). And I'm hoping it's going to change my life.

So what's my mysterious Red Pill about?

This is my secret battle against Ms.Nasty and all the menacing adhesions growing in my ute.

This is Fibrovan...

The endo busting, fibroid killing enzyme packed in a red capsule.

Taken in doses of 2 capsules, twice daily.

A lot of health care professionals will probably tell me that I'm an idiot and NUTS for trying this and that I should stay away from it because:

1) I found it on the internet! We all know the internet is full of scams!

2) It is not endorsed by any doctor

3) It is not FDA approved, though it claims to have been manufactured following FDA guidelines

4) The principle on how it works in human bodies is probably all bullshit because it has not been proven scientifically

But an idiot I'll have to be because Dr.NeverGiveUp really left me in a lurch when he said that he wouldn't recommend surgery nor would he treat me for endo, adeno or fibroids.

My reaction: (in a silent scream...) What? 

But he's suppose to be my fertility knight in shining armour!

Instead, he told me that my problem was quite deeply and extensively rooted inside my ute and was impossible to fix with surgery. In fact it could cause even more damage. He also explained that he would not treat it with chinese medicine because he feels that it's very difficult and slow with TCM. I can't afford the time, he says. He sure doesn't beat around the bush! And you know how I feel about western drugs like Lupron. So, No medicine. No surgery.

I am left to deal with endo, adeno and Ms.Nasty on my own.

Armed with a mouse, a computer and immense desperation, I went into cyberspace to look for answers. And here's what I discovered:

  • The number of women suffering from endo or fibroids is staggering. 15% or 110 million women worldwide will suffer from endo, and up to 40% (some even say 80%) of women will experience at least one fibroid by the time they reach menopause
  • Many like me, are opting out of surgery and western drugs because they are too invasive, or have failed to help
  • There are claims that some have the knowledge to shrink fibroids the natural way but they want you to pay them if you want to know
  • There are medicinal products that claim they can shrink fibroids and endo
In the end Fibrovan looked like the most effective and "transparent" product on the market. The sheer number of women who claimed that it had made a tremendous difference in their lives was impressive. And I'm not talking about the testimonials of women on the product website who sad they were pain-free, or that their fibroids had disappeared or who finally managed to have their babies. These could all be hyped-up lies cooked up by the website. I went in search of ordinary women to see what they were saying in the forums, their blogs, women's health websites, twitter etc about their experiences. I found one or two who said they experienced no effect whatsoever and that it was a waste of money. But there were overwhelmingly more women who had positive experiences with it. And I have not heard of a single complaint about bad side-effects.

I decided to give it a try. I'm telling myself: If it fails, I would lose a few hundred bucks. So what? for years, I've already been spending a crazy fortune on health supplements for fertility. But if it works.... Wow! Considering the physical pain and infertility I am living with due to these diseases, it could be life-changing!

And how does this red capsule unleash its power? It's most active ingredient is an enzyme called Nattokinase derived from fermented soybeans called Natto, a common Japanese food and it was "discovered at the University of Chicago Medical School that safely and quickly disolves unhealthy clots and fibrin deposits in fibroids and endometriosis."  Then, your immune system will "excrete it as waste in the urine." 

I concluded that this is essentially like "enzyme therapy".  Nattokinase is also being used by people with blood clots who are at risk of having heart attacks and strokes. These patients have also stunned their doctors when blood clots up to a foot long have disappeared. But here's the main controversy I found in my research:

I have read that lab tests have shown that it dissolves fibrin, but doctors are having a fiery debate whether it can be assimilated into our bodies without our digestive system destroying its properties, hence rendering it useless. Therefore, many doctors giving enzyme therapy usually inject enzymes directly into the bloodstream. However, many people who have taken nattokinase orally have reported experiencing its benefits and believe it works. So who's right? I don't know. But I'm convinced that I will never ever come close to experiencing the relief and life-changing benefits that some women have experienced with Fibrovan if I never try.

I started Fibrovan right away when I got the package in the mail. I began with 2 capsules, twice a day in May, which I will call Phase 1. And here's my experience:

Phase 1 (24 days):
- Had no bad side-effects
- Since I wasn't in pain to begin with, I didn't notice anything different.
- Ms.Nasty measured 48mm

Break: Stopped Fibrovan when I was ovulating because the safety of this product for pregnancy has not been tested.

Phase 2 (16 days to date and counting):
- Resumed Fibrovan when AF arrived after an 11-day break
- On Day 1 of Phase 2, Ms.Nasty still measured no change on u/s scan.
- AF pain had not decreased
- AF flow not as heavy as before
- Surprisingly no clots during AF
- Rectum pain (on CD10) lasted shorter than usual
- On Day 11 of Phase 2, Ms.Nasty has shrunk by10mm and measured 38mm!
- First sex after AF not as painful as usual
- Had no bad side-effects

In short, Fibrovan hasn't done much for my pain so far. But Ms.Nasty has shrunk! Is this the work of Fibrovan? I really don't know. It's probably too soon to tell. But am I gonna keep taking it? Hell yeah! Will I tell Dr.NeverGiveUp I'm taking it? Hell no! At least not until Ms.Nasty's shrunk significantly.

Fibrovan is being marketed for fibroids. If you want to know more about this product, you can go here. This company also makes another product marketed for endometriosis which is essentially the same product with added Vitex (Chasteberry), a natural herb to help regulate your hormones. Since Dr.NeverGiveUp is already giving me TCM herbs for my hormones, I didn't want to interfere with it by taking vitex. So I chose Fibrovan instead to try. I will continue to share my findings here. The company claims that these products can be taken for prevention once these diseases are under control. It's not a cure because the root problem of what causes these diseases is still not addressed. But it will keep dissolving the growth of endo and fibroids before they become too big of a problem. 

And just for the record, I am not associated in anyway with the company that makes this product, have not been paid by anybody to write about these products or am I endorsing the product. I am just sharing my personal opinions and experience with you because I am sure a lot of women out there would like to know if this product is a scam. Because it sounds too damn good to be true!   

Quietly, desperately, I am hoping that this is the solution I asked god for. 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Is Ms.Nasty Turning Over A New Leaf?

Ms.Nasty, my uterine-fibroid-slash-adenomyosis-slash-endometriosis-mass-near-my-ass gave me a shock today! She measured in at 38mm during my ultrasound scan! That folks, is shockingly good news because she's... Wait for it...

10mm SMALLER! (Gasp! Gasp!)

She has shrunk!

A week ago during my period, she was still the same size, as she always is at all my u/s scans-A big fat 48mm! 

Dr.NeverGiveUp doesn't know what's going on. But I think I do. (More later).

"Can the fluctuations in hormones during a menstrual cycle cause the size to change?" I asked.

"No. Fibroids do not change like that."

 I knew from his expression that he was puzzled, but he kept quiet. And didn't want to offer any explanations. He wasn't treating me for Ms.Nasty but I have been secretly battling Ms.Nasty on my own. And I am hoping that Ms.Nasty's retreat is the result of that, and not a fluke. 

I was so astonished and happy after the u/s scan that I forgot to ask for a picture of it. But Ms.Nasty actually looked smaller. She's flatter and not so round. Oh please, please, puhleeeze let this be a permanent change!

She may have behaved like a saint today, but yesterday, she was one nasty devil, being a real pain in my ass. Literally. Just like clockwork, "Ass-throb Day" turned up on CD10 and attacked me out of nowhere! My rectum felt like it had been impaled by a knife. It was like a major serious period cramp in the wrong place--Up my butt! It was so bad, I had to get off my computer and lie down. If you had a period cramp you could put a heating pad, or massage your tummy, but how do you do that when the pain's inside your ass? I had never had it so bad before and I was seriously contemplating taking a painkiller for it. But I stuck it out. The most intense pain lasted for 20-30 minutes. And then it lingered for a total of 3-4 hours before it vanished! Thank god it did, because if Ms.Nasty's being particularly mean, she can make it last for days.

For a long time I never knew what caused the pain, but after seeing the u/s scan of Ms.Nasty leaning right next to my rectum, I knew she had something to do with it. And for some strange reason, she likes to wreak havoc on CD10. Surprisingly, she went away as quickly as she came. And today, she's even made herself smaller!

Today, I also managed to ask Dr.NeverGiveUp my burning question of the week:

Can sex induce a period? The answer is "Yes!"

For that reason, he advices that women trying to conceive should stay away from sex during the last 3-4 days before their period. So I was panicking for no reason when AF came on 11DPO after sex. Rest assured girls-these things do happen! And talking about sex, he has already scheduled when we should be having sex next-today (Friday), Monday and Wednesday! It's very weird having another man tell me when to have sex!

My next post-I'll let you in on the secret stuff I've been doing behind Dr.NeverGiveU's back and why I think Ms.Nasty has calmed down a notch. Stay tuned.