Thursday, May 20, 2010

Meet Ms.Nasty

I finally managed to get a picture of my ultrasound, starring my big fat adenomyosis-slash-fibroid growth, whom I named Ms.Nasty.

During my last period, she measured in at a whopping 4.8cm ~ about the size of a plum. Dr.NeverGiveUp thinks it is a mixture of blood vessels and muscle tissue. He doesn't recommend surgery because it is not possible to do it without cutting away and damaging the uterine wall. I think he might be right because another patient who has the same growth as me in the same spot had all her other fibroids surgically removed except this one. And even if I did have surgery, it does not address the other adeno spots around my ute which cannot be removed. The only known "cure" for adeno today is a hysterectomy. So it looks like I have to live with Ms.Nasty. Ugh!

Here she is seen from the front. She sits in the centre at the bottom of my ute, bulging into the uterine cavity like a movie star desperate for attention.

Here is a side view of her resting against the back wall of my uterus towards the rectum (right of the image) in a spot commonly known as the Pouch of Douglas or Douglas Cul-De-Sac.  (I'm almost expecting to see a few houses there!) Now I am sure my Ass-Throb days are caused by Ms.Nasty throwing a tantrum every now and then!  

I asked Dr.NeverGiveUp if she could be nasty enough to stop hub's sperm from getting through (I'm thinking road block here). But he thinks it won't be an issue because sperm is very small  and they can get past Ms.Nasty fine. Well, I'm still concerned because hub's sperm aren't exactly olympian swimmers and you'd think they'd be so pooped after swimming over that gigantic mountain that they'd be too exhausted to swim any further, let alone find the right tube where eggy is before the time is up! Well, the only hope is that the chinese meds he's giving my husband will actually help them become super sperm!

As for pregnancy, the biggest issue for me is where implantation happens. If the fertilized egg implants on the upper region of the uterine cavity, as far away as possible from Ms.Nasty, then I have a shot! Unfortunately, not even IVF can help with this. IVF cannot determine where implantation occurs. I always thought I could do IVF as a last resort. But no. IVF cannot help my cause. 

Sadly, western medicine offers me little or nothing at all in my quest to have a baby. Neither surgery nor IVF is going to help. Traditional Chinese Medicine is the only way for me. I have no choice. 

Maybe it's why I've always believed in my heart that I will have a baby au natural. If and when I have my baby, it's going to be nothing less than a Miracle Baby!


Baby On Mind said...

I like you "movie star desperate for attention" description for Ms. Nasty. I'm sorry that western medicine is no help for you. I'm really hoping that TCM will be your miracle. I'm actually looking into TCM my self and reading The Infertility Cure. I wish you all the best and will be following your journey still. (p/s I think you mean 4.8CM if it's the size of a plum)

Gurlee said...

Ms. Nasty is an attention hog, I am sorry she has decided to take up residence in your ute. I know you are opposed to surgery so perhaps it is best to combat her with TCM. Someone suggested at one point that I write a letter to my fibroid, I never did it but I used to "talk" to it on runs and I actually tried to give it respect. Ok, you may think I am totally crazy for admitting I talked to my fibroid in the first place but I found it helpful. I told my fibroid that I could no longer help to sustain its life and that it needed to make way for a different life (my baby(s). That way I wasn't projecting too much negativity towards it and I was looking forward to the future in a positive way.
I know this may sound crazy and it may not "work" for you, but I liked the idea of "talking" to my problem via letter, thoughts, touch, whatever.
Just my two cents.
I am hopeful for you. I am glad you are too. Your attitude is inspiring.
My very best to you!

Rachel said...

It’s hard not to be discouraged but remember you managed to get a BFP once. No reason why your body wouldn’t be able to do it again.
Best wishes

Clare said...

So sorry about Ms. Nasty. (Though I do love her photo - but she is still a biatch). I really think TCM is the best way to go too - are you on agnus castus? Herbs are so powerful. Sending lots of good luck vibes to you and lots of shrinkage ones to Ms. Nasty!