The Good News - he suspects that I might be pregnant! :-O
The Bad News - my little bean's not looking sticky and it might "drop" :-(
Talk about an emotional roller coaster!
My TCM doc is not actually sure if I'm pregnant because he could not get a reading from my pulse. He tried and tried many times , but my bean was not talking to him yet. It was still too early to tell. But he suspected it after I went in for my moxa today because my feet went really cold. I called for him immediately and asked why it was happening. He felt my feet and immediately pulled off the electrical wires and acupuncture needles from my legs. It scared me - I never saw him act with such immediacy before! He said that the most probable reason was that I was pregnant. Shock and Elation! What a way to find out! Then he said that if this was happening, it doesn't look good for the blastocyst-it should be loving the heat but it's not. The heat is not reaching it properly. Oh No!
He ordered me bedrest for the next few days until our next appointment on Thursday, and immediately modified my herbal prescription. Since the moxa was not working, the best thing to do was to warm my kidneys and increase the thickness of my uterine lining with the herbs, so my little bean has a better chance of sticking!
He tried to keep me positive by showing me the silver lining in the clouds - what this shows is that my body is now ready after months of treatment after the m/c. It just needs a bit more fine-tuning, but I am on my way. It's really consoling to know.
Now I am filled with questions and anxiety and hope. What is going on in that body of mine? Did a conception happen? Is it sticking to my ute? Will I be pregnant? Am I really pregnant? Is this it? Will it survive? Am I gonna lose my little bean? Am I pregnant? Am I pregnant? Am I pregnant?
This is going to be the toughest 2 Week Wait EVER!
4 comments:
Hope the rest of your 2ww goes quickly and your bean is sticky!! Thank your for your sweet comment on my blog. I have so done the pretend my roll of fat is a bump!! What I have also done is pretend my big gas filled belly after a lap is actually my 6month bump as I always look so pregnant after a lap! Dreams are what keeps us going, keeps us trying.
Hang in there
Nic x
Nic, you made me laugh when I read about your gas-filled "pregnant bump" after your lap! Talk about making lemonade out of lemons! Sometimes play-acting our pregnancy fantasies is rather comforting isn't it? Thanks for sharing!
Oh dear...I'm sorry to hear things are a bit confusing at the moment (possibly pregnant but possibly not sticky - so hard to know what to think!). Apparently, even the best TCM practitioners can have a hard time with the pregnancy pulse thing, especially so early, so I hope you can find a way to be "zen" about it (har har) and just keep your body relaxed as that is the best thing for getting your bean to stick in the end anyhow!
Just to respond to your comment to my comment on your last post...re: DHEA - I totally understand your feelings about taking artificial hormones. However, this treatment is not antithetical to TCM treatment - you will see that even Randine Lewis recommends it for women in our age range in her book. The reason I am doing TCM in addition to DHEA is precisely because DHEA isn't taken forever and I do want my body to take over. However, I don't have a year or two to wait for the "slow boat to China", so to speak, so I am combining them. Once one becomes pregnant, the DHEA is stopped, and the body apparently does take over and carry a healthy baby to full term, according to the recent studies (which show GREAT success with DHEA for women our age) Basically, DHEA is pure Yang energy. My pre-DHEA test showed that my free testosterone was below the normal range and DHEA has brought it to normal, which has made me feel tons better. The way I see it, my hormones have been artificially altered over many years by my environment and I just don't have time to naturally alter them to the way they should be. That said, everyone has to do what they feel is right for them and I hope all goes well for you on this 2WW, and your little bean sticks and you don't even have to think about other options!
Re: diet...If you have a chance to look through my past posts, you'll get a sense of the Yang diet I'm following (which includes lots of organic meat! just not pork, as that is Yin), and the supplements I've been taking. I do cheat from time to time, but have managed to follow it for the most part, and feel really good on it.
Wishing you all the best over the next couple of weeks - I'll be thinking of you and checking up on you!
Love,
Maddy
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I've always suspected that my TCM doctor knew I was pregnant way before I did....and I also think he knew that I was going to miscarry a twin. But he never said anything.
Thinking happy sticky thoughts for you, and hoping that the rest of the 2WW flies by.
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