Staying Positive While Popping Pills

I spent the last few days drowning myself in a million pills that are supposed to help me get through AF. I've been taking:

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The top pic shows my usual daily onslaught of TCM meds. The bottom pic shows what I took in addition to it for AF pain and gastritis (which always seem to accompany AF pain without fail). Doesn't the amount look just insane?

There was no pain on CD1 (yay!) but the pain came on CD2 and 3. It wasn't too bad, and I suppose I could have handled the pain without meds since I've suffered a lot worse before, but I copped out. Initially I thought I could rough it out so that I could assess my true condition. Hubs thought it was a good idea too. But uhm...Nope-I didn't feel too much like being a hero. I am just not a fan of pain! Those extra meds were a great friend to me for those two days. The flow was a bit heavy on the 2nd and 3rd day, but at least it wasn't like Niagara Falls. It's now CD5 and it feels like someone has just started to turn off the tap.

So why do I like to document all this and gross you out with all my AF symptoms? Because in TCM, it's recognized as an effective gauge on how well you're doing. If your hormones, energy and blood circulation are good, and there are no uterine abnormalities, you should have a perfect period: one that bleeds bright red straight away, moderate volume, no clots, no pain, and lasts 5-7 days without any spotting before or after. And that's what I am working towards - a healthy, normal functioning reproductive system.

This one's hardly a perfect period, but what I'd like to focus on is the positive stuff-
Hey! My period wasn't any worse than before! Therefore, in my miserable, crappy uterine IF world, that's actually great news! So here's why I got my party whistle out:

1. There were no clots
2. The volume was no worse than before
3. The color looked quite bright and healthy
4. The pain wasn't too bad nor worse than my previous AF 
5. Ms.Nasty has not grown
6. I had a lovely bi-phasic BBT chart this past cycle
7. And I did ovulate on my own even though it took hell of a long time!

It's probably too early to assess if Dr.NeverGiveUp's treatment is any good, but I didn't get worse. That's something to celebrate huh?

(For some strange reason, I've been craving margaritas and cosmos during my last 2WW. Anyone have that as a pregnancy symptom? LOL!!!)






PS- By the way, a big "Thank You" to all of you who came out to share and support me at my last post. It meant a lot to me!

This Week's Menu

Here's my TCM fertility herbal pill menu for the week:

What you see in the picture is what I take - in ONE day! These meds are suppose to tonify my organs so that they will produce all the right hormones at optimal levels to support the growth of very good quality eggs. All the stuff in spoons are prescribed by Dr.NeverGiveUp and consist of 4 different types of formula. Note that big-ball pills on the lower left are different from small-ball pills on the lower right! (Get to know your medicine! LOL!) Initially I thought they were all the same! All the stuff in the middle on the plate itself are my own supplements...

Separated into two doses.

Taken twice a day.

With gallons of water.

And a prayer.

Sex Assignment

Well, I'll be damned! I have a 25mm folly on my left ovary, ripe and ready to launch! What's so amazing about that, you say? It's because it's frickin' CD40 and I thought I was on CD8!

I thought I had a period 8 days ago on CD33 when I encountered some spotting. It didn't develop into a full-blown period~just some brown spotting with a teeny bit of blood that tapered off within 3-4 days. It was strange but I shrugged it off thinking perhaps the lining didn't get to develop due to non-ovulation. There was no pain either, which is like-Wooyeah! Get out the champagne and fireworks, because a period with no pain is a day of celebration for an endo gal. (My celebration by the way, ended up in a bit of a disaster )  Also, 8 days ago during my last u/s scan, Dr.NeverGiveUp said that my follicles were all undeveloped and still small.

Then, two days ago on "CD6", I started getting dollops of egg-white CM!

"Heck! It's a bit early for ovulation isn't it? My cycles are so damned screwed!" I thought.

After having an u/s scan today, Dr.NeverGiveUp concluded that the bout of spotting wasn't a period. So then why was I spotting? He explained that because my hormones were not good, my lining was not strong and was shedding a little. But since it looks like I will be ovulating, he advised us to try for 3 consecutive days. Then I remembered that we had planned to skip TTC for one cycle so that the meds have some time to work on me and make me a bit stronger. And since we're still officially on that cycle, what now? He said that we should just go for it since I don't ovulate very often...

So we're going for it! Unfortunately, my brother's coming over to stay with us for the weekend and the guest bedroom is right next to ours. With paper thin walls. We're so used to having the whole house to ourselves and not having to worry about what other people might hear. 14 years ago, when hubs and I were dating (yes-it was that long ago!) I used to visit at this very same house when his parents were living here. They've moved out since and we've inherited it. Anyway, when his parents were ready to launch into some bedroom "exercise", they would blare classical music from their bedroom. And I could still hear my future mother-in-law through those walls with the music on. Ewww right? So every time we heard classical music coming from that room, we knew-it was the "cue"! But I had such an admiration for them because I think it's amazing that people "that age" are still having such a healthy sex life! I hope hubs and I will still be healthily active like them, minus the music(!), when we hit that age!

My next appointment with Dr.NeverGiveUp is a week from now, but till then, we've got homework! At least it feels that way. I have a little notebook which he gave me to jot my daily BBT down, and in that, he also marks down tentative dates for u/s scans. Today, he marked three crosses on friday, saturday and sunday, indicating that we are to have sex on these days. YES SIR!

He also gave us some instructions on how to do it! Okay, you can stop laughing now. If you're trying to conceive you may wanna pay attention too! Here's:

Baby-Making Sex 101

1) Once the man enters, do not pull out until after he ejaculates. Every time he pulls out, air can enter the vagina. We do not want to create air in the vagina because it pushes the sperm out when he withdraws. We want to maintain a vacuum in the vagina, and it's easier for sperm to be sucked into the uterus during orgasm in a vacuum.

2) Make sure your hips are elevated with a pillow before he ejaculates to minimize spillage.

3) Lie down, hips elevated, for two hours after that. 30 minutes is not sufficient. You may turn to your side but make sure you're horizontal for 2 hours.



Hmm, I guess no more wild experimental 100-sex-positions-a-night! It's got to be a 1-shot deal, and then lie down like a zombie after that! Don't even think about getting up for a snack or to pee anytime soon after that!

On top of our little "assignment", I am to take my chinese herbal pills twice a day, which he has changed up a bit. He seems to be changing my prescription every week. He gives us different dosages and formula to support the changing hormones in our cycle. Last week, he had me taking 4 more capsules daily on top of this. For this coming ovulatory phase, he's doubled those little black balls! Yes, I'm gonna have a ball swallowing those down!

Well, I'll have to say that hubs was noticeably more cheerful after we left the clinic. I mean, he was really happy and holding my hands and everything! I think he's probably thinking about all the sex that he's gonna get this weekend, but he says it's because he got to see my egg! I guess he's happy about me ovulating! Awww.... It's probably the best news we've had in a long while!

Wish me luck on our assignment!
 

You Bad, Lazy Egg!

It appears that my eggs have gone on a leave of absence without notifying me! They haven't showed up for two cycles! Today is CD32 and I woke up with some spotting. I guess that throws the possibility of a late ovulation out the window!

I went in for my weekly u/s scan with Dr.NeverGiveUp today, and he confirmed that my eggs had not matured. So yup! There's the proof~those lazy eggs of mine are definitely having a vacation. They're there, but just idling around-not growing or doing much. He believes that my high testosterone levels are suppressing the development of my eggs. That's why I am still having my periods but not ovulating. I told him that I was ovulating regularly last year but it seemed that turning a year older has really affected my fertility. However he thinks that my ovaries look OK and that the bigger concern was the condition of my uterus. He assured me that the medicine I am taking will help to rebalance my hormones and improve the quality of my eggs. And that we will start to see the effects in 3-4 months.

I also brought up my concern about my high CA-125 results which indicate an infection and inflammation in the ovaries. I read recently on a fertility doctor's blog that,

"Endometriosis is a pelvic disease that causes the pelvis to be inflamed. It is thought that this inflammation attacks and kills the egg at the time of ovulation."


That got me into a bit of a panic! Like, "What? Now my own body is killing my eggs too?" How many more disasters could I possibly be brewing in my uterus?!!! 

Being his usual never-say-die self, he said that it's not a very significant problem because the cells in our body are very, very good at adapting to their environment. My eggs will also adapt and find a way to survive. So I stopped freaking out. What I really like about Dr.NeverGiveUp is his unassuming confidence and optimism.

As I was the last patient in the clinic today, I had the opportunity to talk with him a little longer. I brought up the issue about doing acupuncture for me, cos frankly, I'm a walking disaster and I need all the help that I can get! But he told me-again-that I shouldn't worry about that. I can't believe that a TCM doc is not pro-acupuncture! What about all the stuff I've read about acupuncture improving success rates in IVF by 30% and the latest news about Celine Dion conceiving twins via IVF with the help of acupuncture? He explained that statistics are sometimes exaggerated or manipulated, even in the medical profession. He said he attended a world medical seminar on IVF and when it was reported that some clinic claimed a 50% rate in IVF success, the whole room cracked up like it was the biggest joke. Even the most respected and advanced clinics in IVF research could only realistically claim a 30% success rate. Some clinics were also practising the unethical transfer of very high numbers of embryos to increase success rates. Well, I don't know how honest clinics really are about their success rates, but in regards to acupuncture and IVF, he told me that the professor he studied under in China specialized in IVF, and in his hospital, patients who initially failed to get pregnant through IVF would be treated with acupuncture. And even then, they found that the success rate for IVF after acupuncture increased only by 10%, which was minimal. That was quite a startling revelation to me! I was under the impression that the odds were better than that! That conclusion was formed from his own experience anyway, and I guess it must be true because nobody lies about underperforming!

However he made it a point to assure me that TCM herbal medicine itself (as opposed to acupuncture) really helps to improve egg (and sperm) quality. And this is something that Western Medicine does not/cannot address. He made that very clear: At the university hospital he's lecturing at, out of the 5 couples who underwent IVF recently, only one couple succeeded and it was the one that had undergone TCM treatment with him. Their IVF specialist was very impressed with her egg quality. He also told me about another IVF specialist who now refers many of her patients to him. She was astonished at the egg quality she retrieved from patients who had undertaken his treatment. She claimed that the egg quality was "beautiful"! And guess who this IVF specialist is? Dr.Crap! Yes, the fertility specialist I first consulted whom I didn't like at all. I blogged about her here. She's quite prominent in her field and Dr.NeverGiveUp's patients seem to like her a lot! Now that's astonishing to me!

So I am really counting on Dr.NeverGiveUp's TCM pills to make me ovulate beautiful eggs. Although I am not going for IVF, I really feel for you girls who are going through it and are devastated when you find that you have issues with egg quality, even with all the drug stimulation. From what I've read/heard and what Dr.NeverGiveUp has told me, Western medicine has no treatment for improving egg quality which greatly impacts success rates for IVF. But do not despair and do not give up yet. There is this avenue down TCM that you can try before resorting to donor eggs or adoption. It appears that women have been getting promising results with TCM treatment. I personally have a friend whose doctor said the same thing about her eggs after she underwent TCM. Her first two rounds produced crappy eggs but her third round produced very good eggs after TCM. She finally managed to get pregnant at age 40 with her third IVF.

Now, I don't really know what Dr.NeverGiveUp puts inside his pills. I never really cared to find out because he has rattled off a whole bunch of names before to me and it still left me clueless anyway. But I did wonder about the efficacy of pills as opposed to boiling the raw herbs like I did before with my previous TCM doc. I always thought that the pills contained herbs that were ground into powder form. Well, silly me! Apparently they're not that low tech! The essence of an herb is extracted by a very high tech process to preserve its medicinal properties, and is sourced from China. Dr.NeverGiveUp has visited the lab and commissioned them to make a blend of his different formulae. I am very happy to hear that I'm not paying high prices for low-tech medicine! And I don't have to extract them the old-fashioned way myself by boiling them for an hour, which inevitably end up in disaster sometimes! So, yay! My days of burning my herbs dry into carbon and having my own smoking Icelandic volcano in my kitchen are over!

And here's another piece of good news. I am not diabetic! I've been feeling thirstier than usual over the past month and Dr.NeverGiveUp said there was a possibility of me getting diabetes "because you are FAT!" Yup! Those are his exact words! Yes, cut straight to the point why don't cha! Well, I never said he was charming! Even though I had a blood test last month I could become diabetic anytime, so he tested me. So that's one less disaster in my body to deal with! Phew! He did tell me that one thing I could do though to help lower my testosterone levels was to lose some weight. OK! Got it! Lose the fat!