This week is Infertility Awareness Week (USA).
And what an apt time it is for me to find out that I am even more infertile than I thought I was.
Yes, I have heartbreaking news about my latest diagnosis. An ultrasound at my new fertility clinic revealed that I not only have endometriosis (endometrial growth outside the uterus that causes adhesions, inflamation and scarring) which I already knew I had. But now I also have adenomyosis (endometriosis that occurs inside the uterus) and a 3cm fibroid in my uterus.
In simple English, my uterus is really fucked up! It is full of abnormal growths which are distorting its shape and decreases my fertility by 70%. My uterus is retroverted. The growths also make it difficult for an embryo to find a suitable spot to implant. The fibroid could also be blocking the passage of DH's sperm to my egg. This may not be the end of my bad news, as I am still waiting for my hormonal bloodwork to come back.
I am devastated. I've been depressed the whole week. My eyes are the size of tennis balls from all that crying. We have such an uphill struggle.
My body is broken.
My heart, is broken.
5 comments:
Oh I'm so sorry that you're going through this. What horrible news to have to digest. I can't even imagine. I know nothing I can say will help you but please know that you are in my heart and thoughts.
I hope you will find some clarity and peace amongst this bad news.
Oh no sweetie, no matter what you have learned please don't think you are broken! I know you just found out this information so it may be too soon to figure out how to proceed, but there must be a way!
I am thinking of you, you are strong, you know you can conceive. Perhaps now that you have more information you can work towards a solution.
xoxox-
Gurlee
Aw, honey, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it must come as a terrible shock and that you're feeling really sad and discouraged right now.
I want to commend you for getting the U/S and finding out what's going on - although it's certainly not good news, it is information to work with and deal with and find answers for. Fibroids are removable. I don't know a lot about adenomyosis, I know you are a very resourceful person and when you are feeling up to it, you will do your research and find out all you can about it.
I realize you were hoping to use TCM to increase your fertility - I am sure TCM has been helpful and will continue to help you. Someone once commented on my blog that there is no shame in relying on western medicine, too, and that was really good for me to hear - in the end, we may need both medicines in order to achieve our goal of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby within the limited time we have left to conceive, and that's okay. I sometimes think that the causes of our infertility are not necessarily natural (environmental pollutants, etc.), so perhaps the remedies won't necessarily be, either.
Take care of your body and your heart, Zengirl - we are all here for you, supporting you and thinking of you.
Love,
Maddy
I am so sorry Zengirl. It is hard not to be overwhelmed by the continuous disappointments. Please stay strong
Love
RG
Oh I am so sorry....
I am so behind in my blog reading that I just read this now. Even though the news sucks, at least you now know what the issues are, and can work on a new game plan to address them. I'm praying that your bloodwork brings good news. Thinking of you.
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