Totally Thrown Off-Guard

Woke up today - still sleepy.


BBT is low - same old story.


Not ovulating - same old crap.


Take TCM pills - the usual truckload.


Evening TP wipe - blood.


Blood????


WTF???????


CD1 already?


Not even a chance to ovulate?


A  #@*&!$  non-ovulatory cycle.


My future baby never even had a chance this cycle.


Oh well...!


SNAFU!


Situation Normal - All Fucked Up!


(Picture courtesy of Zoey. With head in spirulina box.)

My Liver's Having A Bad Day!

Well, well, I never thought I'd see this day, but AF has finally packed her bags and left, along with all that miserable pain!

So I went in for my doctor's appointment at the TCM clinic today hoping to get some burning luurve for my body-- err..., I mean, moxa. But my doc says,

"Why is your liver so stressed?"

Uhmmm.... ???

Apparently it wasn't food related.

So I fessed up--I think I did not have enough sleep. (Gulp!)

But, but, it wasn't my fault! It was Aunt Flo's fault. And Aunt Endo's. They were having a party last week and didn't let me sleep. As a result, they've turned my whole sleeping cycle upside, down, not that it was ever right side up in the first place. I live a largely nocturnal life, which is queer by most people's standards. But now, I live in Mar's time zone. Or somewhere unearthly!

Last night I went to bed at 5 a.m.

I woke up at 7 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep.

I tried torturing myself to sleep, reading one photography book, one cancer book, one recipe book, numerous rounds of Sudoku.

And drove my cat crazy (who was really trying very hard to sleep at the foot of my bed) with cuddles, and stroking and petting, and jibberish crazy cat-woman talk.

After a light lunch, I finally went to sleep at 1.30 p.m. (These are the perks of working at home at your own hours!) Slept for 3 hours and woke up at 4.30 p.m. to rush to the clinic! So...

"No moxa today!"

But why?

Reason: My liver's already stressed so we don't want to heat it up even more.

"If you want to do moxa tomorrow, make sure you sleep tonight!" he says.

It's now 5.33 a.m. Aaaaarrrgghhhhhhhhh!!!!

Freedom!

Zoey Escapes! This is one of the many times that my cat Zoey attempts to escape from the house. I had left one window opened in the bathroom and he fearlessly went for it! He has given me many heart-attacks over the short course of his life!

I always keep Zoey indoors, afraid that the dogs in the neighborhood would get to him. And I'm paranoid about catnapping too! Yes, you could say I am a rather over-zealous and over-protective "mum" to Zoey. But he is my "baby"! Although I foiled his Great Escape this time, I met him on the other side and let him enjoy the outdoors under supervision, as I always do everyday. He must have felt great about his freedom, because he was extremely contented after that.

I too have been feeling this exhilaration of freedom - freedom from intense pain that usually dogs me a few days a month when AF visits. The last few days have been incredible because I was pain-free after CD1. I usually only see the four walls of my bedroom during the first few days of my period, compliments of endometriosis. Today is only CD5 but already, I feel like weeks have passed and I've lived such a full life: I've been out for dinners, out on a movie date with hubby, gone to the clinic for acupuncture, hung out at Starbucks with my fav caramel hot chocolate, managed to mop the floors, do the laundry, iron a mountain of clothes, clean the litter box, cook meals, make Zoey a new toy, reach out to my friends, do my work and blog! Plus the usual eat-shit-sleep!

I am amazed at how much life can be lived in just 5 days, and stunned by the realization that this is how much endo robs from me every month! Endo has imprisoned me for such a long time, and I am thrilled to be breaking out from its clutches. The freedom to live my life the way I want, while bleeding, has been liberating and exhilarating! I owe so much to my TCM doctor for making me better and for helping me regain my life back. Down you go endo! Down-you-go!

I feel so happy and free! A quote from Walter Matthau (as Albert Einstein) in the movie "IQ" sums it up passionately for me --

WA-HOOOOO!

My Cat's Favourite Hobby

I thought I'd distract myself from obsessing over my 2WW by posting something about my furry baby. I was out all day attending a friend's wedding anniversary celebration and had to leave my fluff-ball alone at home for a whole 9 hours. Poor Zoey! I wonder what he feels when he's alone at home for that many hours. Anxiety? Loneliness? "YAY! I can do whatever I want!"? I came home and nothing was broken. And the sofa's still intact. Well, he probably slept all day... Cats have an amazing talent - they can sleep 28 hours a day! This is one of the many pics I have of Zoey sleeping. Anything is comfortable to him, and he doesn't care for luxurious beds. The cheaper the better! This is one of his favourite sleeping spots - a cheap $2 plastic basket.

My Furry 4-Legged Pitter Patter

I think all those days lying down with my tummy exposed dangerously close to a fiery moxa stick have actually done me some good! Firstly, my hormones must have kicked into place because - boy - was I horny around the time of my ovulation! My libido has been MIA for a while and it looks like it's finally back in action! My egg-white CM was also spectacular! I also ovulated on my own much earlier this cycle on CD19, compared to CD25 previously! Something definitely did light my fire! Now that my cycle has peaked and all the "necessary" baby dancing is out of the way, there's nothing I can really do, except to wait for the BFN- or hopefully, BFP! I'm keeping my fingers, and all my toes crossed, as always.

Since I've told myself not to obsess about the BFN/BFP, now's a good time to talk about other things in my life, such as our furry baby that has brought so much joy, and amusement to my & DH's lives. Meet Zoey, our fluffy fluff of feline fur! He's been with us for 8 of our 10 childless years of marriage and I've treasured every minute of it. He's an indoor cat, so he spends a lot of time with me, giving much pleasure and madness at the same time! And yes, you read right - it is a HE. We named him Zoltan but it has morphed into Zoey. And it has stuck! So, as first impressions are very important, I've dug up the purrtiest and most innocent photos I have of Zoey. Here's one of him enjoying the outdoors.



And here's one with those beautiful big round eyes of his. So innocent.... Comes in really handy when he does something naughty!!! I fall for it all the time...