The End Has Come

It is official:

Another cycle has bitten the dust. It's CD1 today.

I started feeling really tired and crampy yesterday. Thinking that some exercise would do me some good, you know, get the blood circulation going a bit, I managed to drag myself to the gym and came home to find that I had begun to spot. I knew that the end was near.

Today the pain started to get quite bad. I hadn't felt such pain in a while. I hadn't taken any Fibrovan since I last ran out about a month back. Maybe it did help with the pain while I was on it. Thankfully I had some of Dr.NeverGiveup's amazing TCM pain herbal medicine and took that. Within half an hour, the pain had subsided to a manageable level. Within a few hours, the flow started going. It was at that point that I began to feel relief. It was as if my ute was cramping hard trying to expel the lining, causing me pain, but once it started shedding, it started to ease up. Before, I used to cramp all the time, consistently for a few days. The difference now is that the cramping has decreased and is more focused. Every time I get a round of cramps, I can understand specifically what my body is trying to do now. And it's amazing how quickly my ute eases off once some blood is shed. A direct cause and effect. The relief is almost immediate! That's pretty amusing to me!

I'm glad this lousy cycle has finally come to an end. The good news is that I actually produced follicles much earlier this past cycle, and that my cycle has shortened to 35 days. The bad news is that I didn't actually ovulate.

Goodbye Ms.RJ1. You're like a guest who has overstayed your welcome. Hope you're gone!

Doing The Timon...Again!

• Aunt Flo's having a party in my ute and she doesn't want to leave. She thinks she just got here. Despite this being CD8!

• Clots that made a no-show last period came back with a vengeance! Despite taking clot-busting Fibrovan religiously.

• I haven't had ANY pain whatsoever -not even a twitch -all through AF. Despite the clots. (It's a miracle!)

• I am feeling so freakin' horny! Despite Aunt Flo chaperoning Ms.Cha Cha 24/7.

So, again...

This Week's Excite-O-Meter

My trip to see Dr. Don'tGiveUp this week resulted in some pretty interesting "news".

Here's how they rate according to my Excite-o-meter, where 0 = not excited at all, and 10 = is super excited.

>>Ms. Nasty, my uterine-fibroid-slash-adenomyosis-slash-endometriosis-mass-near-my-ass remains as stubborn as ever. I was hoping that it would have shrunk itself into oblivion from the Fibrovan I've been taking, but sadly, the u/s scan shows that it has remained unchanged since the last 10mm shrinkage. I haz a very sad.

Excite-o-meter Level: minus 347

>>Again, Dr.Don'tGive Up reports to me that another patient of his has just gotten pregnant (who happens to be the patient in line before me. Gawdamnit! Read about the other pregnant woman in line before me . If you wanna get pregnant, forget IVF, forget TCM! Just be the one in line before me-Pregnancy guaranteed!). Anyway, she's obese, has one son already but was infertile for 3 years trying for her second child. It only took her one month to conceive under his care. (Ugh! You call that infertile?) I was totally not excited about any of this-except for the fact that he has classified her as another unusual case. He didn't say what her diagnosis was but he showed me her BBT chart, which was all over the place! There were dips and spikes in all the wrong places, and surprisingly, her temp got lower and lower. There was absolutely no sign of any pregnant triphasic pattern, or biphasic pattern either. In fact her temp has plunged to 36.0˚F. Dr.Don'tGiveUp stared at her chart silently, in awe and confusion. He said her chart showed that she couldn't possibly be pregnant with her temps, but her u/s scan and urine test proved she was. He thinks that there may be a fault in her temperature taking, but he wanted to show me that women still get pregnant despite the unlikeliness of the situation. He told me not to worry. Women do get pregnant against the odds. So I got a teeny weeny bit excited about it.

Excite-o-meter Level: 

0.5

>>I learned about the dangers about ultrasound scan. Since my MIL seems to be very concerned about me having u/s scans every week, I asked if sound waves could damage my eggs. I also asked if there was any harm to a foetus or embryo especially at an early stage. He replied that a transvaginal scan (the all-seeing phallic sonic probe which they stick up your cha-cha) could pose a danger because it is very near the gestational sac - which is only a couple of inches away from the source of the sound waves. And he wouldn't recommend it during the very early stages of pregnancy. Besides he doesn't want any early-pregnant woman having something stuck up her va-jay-jay or even having sex (up till at least 28DPO, if I can remember correctly from a previous conversation). He added that most doctors wouldn't bother to study about the effects of ultrasound scanning but he spent $20,000 on a course to learn about it in detail, and understands it well. He said that yes, theoretically, ultrasound can be harmful because vibrations can cause damage to a very young gestational sac, but it cannot be clinically proven because nobody would want to mess around with a human life just to prove it. It's also very, very hard to prove. The harm may also be very small-therefore considered negligible, depending on who's looking at the data. As for u/s scanning the eggs on a full bladder, the sound waves are traveling through more layers of tissue and water and so it's not that harmful by the time it gets to the eggs. If you're paranoid like me, avoid the cha-cha wand during very early pregnancy! After spending thousands of dollars and millions of tears, paranoia is acceptable. 

Excite-o-meter Level: 5


>>I found out that Dr.Don'tGiveUp is a Christian. We told him that we'd made plans to visit the ancient ruins of Borobudur in Indonesia in August and he told us that he had been there. 30 years ago, he spent one month in Indonesia traveling across the islands of Java and Bali doing mission work with his church. Normally a doctor's spiritual orientation wouldn't matter to me, but I find it very comforting to know that my doctor and I are on a common spiritual path. After all, I believe that god answered my prayers when I asked for a doctor who combines Eastern and Western medicine, as I found him the very next day! I would like to think that god is working through him to answer my prayers (hopefully!) And knowing that he believes in the same god I do feels reassuring.

Excite-o-meter Level: 7

>>I was very excited about getting my blood tested again after being 3 months on his meds. I really want to see what my FSH is doing, along with my other hormones. Dr.Don'tGiveUp and I were talking about possible ovarian failure due to me not ovulating some months and the poor quality of my eggs. I was spotting a lot prior to AF this past cycle which indicated poor progesterone levels, resulting in a poor,  weak lining. This is also another indication of poor quality eggs. But he doesn't want to jump to any conclusions just yet and will wait for the blood test to see. Even though my FSH was bafflingly low 3 months ago, my prognosis could be worse now, with possible POF (premature ovarian failure) in the cards. But I am eager to confront it and face it head on! I can't wait to get the results back!

Excite-o-meter Level: 8

>>And BTW, he's got needle skillz! He knows his veins! I've been traumatized by incompetent doctors who think that taking blood is a bloody treasure hunt. They've pricked me all over to find blood, even behind my knuckles! Maybe fun for them, but not so for me! Dr.Don'tGiveUp hit the jackpot at first prick! He's done this twice now, perfectly. I never have to worry about giving him blood anymore! 

Excite-o-meter Level: 8.5

>>Knowing that I was getting kinda worried about adding POF to an already long list of fertility problems that would circle the globe twice, he told me not to worry. He said that he has invented a new treatment! I was thinking, "Wow! Who invents new treatments for fertility? Nobody has invented anything new for infertility in years!" So I flooded him with questions about it but he wouldn't tell me much. Dang! All I managed to squeeze from him was that, he was testing it now with some of his patients and it has proven to be effective so far--but he wanted to observe it a bit longer; it involves a few more steps (I'm dying to know what), it would cost a bit more (Oh! What the hell!); it wouldn't require me coming to the clinic more often (Yay!), and that he would introduce it to me in about two weeks' time. OMG! OMG! OMG! I am sooooo super duper excited! Can I please, please, please try it ASAP??!!!! I'll be your guinea pig! My sorry state of a reproductive non-productive system needs ALL the help it can get! 

Excite-o-meter Level: 1,000,000,000!!! 

My excite-o-meter has gone through the roof with the last one!

The Red Pill

Neo took one (think Matrix). And it changed his life.

I'm taking one too. (Actually, bottles of it). And I'm hoping it's going to change my life.

So what's my mysterious Red Pill about?

This is my secret battle against Ms.Nasty and all the menacing adhesions growing in my ute.

This is Fibrovan...

The endo busting, fibroid killing enzyme packed in a red capsule.

Taken in doses of 2 capsules, twice daily.

A lot of health care professionals will probably tell me that I'm an idiot and NUTS for trying this and that I should stay away from it because:

1) I found it on the internet! We all know the internet is full of scams!

2) It is not endorsed by any doctor

3) It is not FDA approved, though it claims to have been manufactured following FDA guidelines

4) The principle on how it works in human bodies is probably all bullshit because it has not been proven scientifically

But an idiot I'll have to be because Dr.NeverGiveUp really left me in a lurch when he said that he wouldn't recommend surgery nor would he treat me for endo, adeno or fibroids.

My reaction: (in a silent scream...) What? 

But he's suppose to be my fertility knight in shining armour!

Instead, he told me that my problem was quite deeply and extensively rooted inside my ute and was impossible to fix with surgery. In fact it could cause even more damage. He also explained that he would not treat it with chinese medicine because he feels that it's very difficult and slow with TCM. I can't afford the time, he says. He sure doesn't beat around the bush! And you know how I feel about western drugs like Lupron. So, No medicine. No surgery.

I am left to deal with endo, adeno and Ms.Nasty on my own.

Armed with a mouse, a computer and immense desperation, I went into cyberspace to look for answers. And here's what I discovered:

• The number of women suffering from endo or fibroids is staggering. 15% or 110 million women worldwide will suffer from endo, and up to 40% (some even say 80%) of women will experience at least one fibroid by the time they reach menopause
• Many like me, are opting out of surgery and western drugs because they are too invasive, or have failed to help
• There are claims that some have the knowledge to shrink fibroids the natural way but they want you to pay them if you want to know
• There are medicinal products that claim they can shrink fibroids and endo

In the end Fibrovan looked like the most effective and "transparent" product on the market. The sheer number of women who claimed that it had made a tremendous difference in their lives was impressive. And I'm not talking about the testimonials of women on the product website who sad they were pain-free, or that their fibroids had disappeared or who finally managed to have their babies. These could all be hyped-up lies cooked up by the website. I went in search of ordinary women to see what they were saying in the forums, their blogs, women's health websites, twitter etc about their experiences. I found one or two who said they experienced no effect whatsoever and that it was a waste of money. But there were overwhelmingly more women who had positive experiences with it. And I have not heard of a single complaint about bad side-effects.

I decided to give it a try. I'm telling myself: If it fails, I would lose a few hundred bucks. So what? for years, I've already been spending a crazy fortune on health supplements for fertility. But if it works.... Wow! Considering the physical pain and infertility I am living with due to these diseases, it could be life-changing!

And how does this red capsule unleash its power? It's most active ingredient is an enzyme called Nattokinase derived from fermented soybeans called Natto, a common Japanese food and it was "discovered at the University of Chicago Medical School that safely and quickly disolves unhealthy clots and fibrin deposits in fibroids and endometriosis."  Then, your immune system will "excrete it as waste in the urine." 

I concluded that this is essentially like "enzyme therapy".  Nattokinase is also being used by people with blood clots who are at risk of having heart attacks and strokes. These patients have also stunned their doctors when blood clots up to a foot long have disappeared. But here's the main controversy I found in my research:

I have read that lab tests have shown that it dissolves fibrin, but doctors are having a fiery debate whether it can be assimilated into our bodies without our digestive system destroying its properties, hence rendering it useless. Therefore, many doctors giving enzyme therapy usually inject enzymes directly into the bloodstream. However, many people who have taken nattokinase orally have reported experiencing its benefits and believe it works. So who's right? I don't know. But I'm convinced that I will never ever come close to experiencing the relief and life-changing benefits that some women have experienced with Fibrovan if I never try.

I started Fibrovan right away when I got the package in the mail. I began with 2 capsules, twice a day in May, which I will call Phase 1. And here's my experience:

Phase 1 (24 days):

- Had no bad side-effects

- Since I wasn't in pain to begin with, I didn't notice anything different.

- Ms.Nasty measured 48mm

Break: Stopped Fibrovan when I was ovulating because the safety of this product for pregnancy has not been tested.

Phase 2 (16 days to date and counting):

- Resumed Fibrovan when AF arrived after an 11-day break

- On Day 1 of Phase 2, Ms.Nasty still measured no change on u/s scan.

- AF pain had not decreased

- AF flow not as heavy as before

- Surprisingly no clots during AF

- Rectum pain (on CD10) lasted shorter than usual

- On Day 11 of Phase 2, Ms.Nasty has shrunk by10mm and measured 38mm!

- First sex after AF not as painful as usual

- Had no bad side-effects

In short, Fibrovan hasn't done much for my pain so far. But Ms.Nasty has shrunk! Is this the work of Fibrovan? I really don't know. It's probably too soon to tell. But am I gonna keep taking it? Hell yeah! Will I tell Dr.NeverGiveUp I'm taking it? Hell no! At least not until Ms.Nasty's shrunk significantly.

Fibrovan is being marketed for fibroids. If you want to know more about this product, you can go here. This company also makes another product marketed for endometriosis which is essentially the same product with added Vitex (Chasteberry), a natural herb to help regulate your hormones. Since Dr.NeverGiveUp is already giving me TCM herbs for my hormones, I didn't want to interfere with it by taking vitex. So I chose Fibrovan instead to try. I will continue to share my findings here. The company claims that these products can be taken for prevention once these diseases are under control. It's not a cure because the root problem of what causes these diseases is still not addressed. But it will keep dissolving the growth of endo and fibroids before they become too big of a problem. 

And just for the record, I am not associated in anyway with the company that makes this product, have not been paid by anybody to write about these products or am I endorsing the product. I am just sharing my personal opinions and experience with you because I am sure a lot of women out there would like to know if this product is a scam. Because it sounds too damn good to be true!   

Quietly, desperately, I am hoping that this is the solution I asked god for.