Halloween Sex Nightmare

Well, I am not talking about a movie or a dream, but as usual, it is my damn high-drama IF life.

WARNING: This is a TMI post!

It's 6DPO this Halloween, and still feeling a bit frisky, I thought it would be ok to have a little luvin'. I certainly remember Dr.NeverGiveUp's advice about not having sex 3-4 days prior to AF (read here and here). And I thought I was still in the clear.

Well, hubs and I were both shocked to discover brown discharge halfway through it. It did not start out this way, nor was I spotting before. Could we have induced another early period with sex again?  I mean it's another 8 days till my period is due! WTF? The brown spotting has not increased but it has not stopped. Do I have some crappy incompetent cervix that can't keep my lining in somehow?

My nipples are still sore, but it's less intense now. My BBT is still relatively low-I think it indicates my progesterone production is still not great. And I've been feeling very crampy and bloated the last couple of days, though it has subsided. And some of the blood from my so called "beautiful" lining has shed-I think that's what the brown stuff was. Shit! Things don't look good. There goes my BFP. 

It's been a hell of a Halloween! Hope yours was better.

Looking At the Bright Side

As disappointing as this past cycle has been for me, Dr.NeverGiveUp tried to focus on the good things today.

• Ms.RJ1, the monster egg-cum-cyst has disappeared! Today's u/s scan revealed that she is gone! The red tide must have "flushed" her out!

• He thinks my cycles are getting shorter and I am producing eggs earlier. Although I've had better cycles 2 years ago, it is obvious that my fertility has gone worse with age. My first cycle under his care was 51 days. Followed by a non-ovulatory 36-day cycle. Then a 37-day cycle with ovulation on CD23. And most recently, a 35-day cycle with a luteinized follicle on Day 20, even though it didn't ovulate. Not exactly champagne breaking news, but it's not bad.

It's CD4 today. The pain has been intermittent but I think the worst is over. My hormones are beginning to rage. I can feel my sex drive surging again. I swear-this is ALL Dr.NeverGiveUp's doing!  :-O

The End Has Come

It is official:

Another cycle has bitten the dust. It's CD1 today.

I started feeling really tired and crampy yesterday. Thinking that some exercise would do me some good, you know, get the blood circulation going a bit, I managed to drag myself to the gym and came home to find that I had begun to spot. I knew that the end was near.

Today the pain started to get quite bad. I hadn't felt such pain in a while. I hadn't taken any Fibrovan since I last ran out about a month back. Maybe it did help with the pain while I was on it. Thankfully I had some of Dr.NeverGiveup's amazing TCM pain herbal medicine and took that. Within half an hour, the pain had subsided to a manageable level. Within a few hours, the flow started going. It was at that point that I began to feel relief. It was as if my ute was cramping hard trying to expel the lining, causing me pain, but once it started shedding, it started to ease up. Before, I used to cramp all the time, consistently for a few days. The difference now is that the cramping has decreased and is more focused. Every time I get a round of cramps, I can understand specifically what my body is trying to do now. And it's amazing how quickly my ute eases off once some blood is shed. A direct cause and effect. The relief is almost immediate! That's pretty amusing to me!

I'm glad this lousy cycle has finally come to an end. The good news is that I actually produced follicles much earlier this past cycle, and that my cycle has shortened to 35 days. The bad news is that I didn't actually ovulate.

Goodbye Ms.RJ1. You're like a guest who has overstayed your welcome. Hope you're gone!

Aunt Flo Showed Up

It's CD 1.

My "perfect" lining makes an exit.

Another cycle bites the dust.

Doing The Timon...Again!

• Aunt Flo's having a party in my ute and she doesn't want to leave. She thinks she just got here. Despite this being CD8!

• Clots that made a no-show last period came back with a vengeance! Despite taking clot-busting Fibrovan religiously.

• I haven't had ANY pain whatsoever -not even a twitch -all through AF. Despite the clots. (It's a miracle!)

• I am feeling so freakin' horny! Despite Aunt Flo chaperoning Ms.Cha Cha 24/7.

So, again...

Is Ms.Nasty Turning Over A New Leaf?

Ms.Nasty, my uterine-fibroid-slash-adenomyosis-slash-endometriosis-mass-near-my-ass gave me a shock today! She measured in at 38mm during my ultrasound scan! That folks, is shockingly good news because she's... Wait for it...

10mm SMALLER! (Gasp! Gasp!)

She has shrunk!

A week ago during my period, she was still the same size, as she always is at all my u/s scans-A big fat 48mm! 

Dr.NeverGiveUp doesn't know what's going on. But I think I do. (More later).

"Can the fluctuations in hormones during a menstrual cycle cause the size to change?" I asked.

"No. Fibroids do not change like that."

 I knew from his expression that he was puzzled, but he kept quiet. And didn't want to offer any explanations. He wasn't treating me for Ms.Nasty but I have been secretly battling Ms.Nasty on my own. And I am hoping that Ms.Nasty's retreat is the result of that, and not a fluke. 

I was so astonished and happy after the u/s scan that I forgot to ask for a picture of it. But Ms.Nasty actually looked smaller. She's flatter and not so round. Oh please, please, puhleeeze let this be a permanent change!

She may have behaved like a saint today, but yesterday, she was one nasty devil, being a real pain in my ass. Literally. Just like clockwork, "Ass-throb Day" turned up on CD10 and attacked me out of nowhere! My rectum felt like it had been impaled by a knife. It was like a major serious period cramp in the wrong place--Up my butt! It was so bad, I had to get off my computer and lie down. If you had a period cramp you could put a heating pad, or massage your tummy, but how do you do that when the pain's inside your ass? I had never had it so bad before and I was seriously contemplating taking a painkiller for it. But I stuck it out. The most intense pain lasted for 20-30 minutes. And then it lingered for a total of 3-4 hours before it vanished! Thank god it did, because if Ms.Nasty's being particularly mean, she can make it last for days.

For a long time I never knew what caused the pain, but after seeing the u/s scan of Ms.Nasty leaning right next to my rectum, I knew she had something to do with it. And for some strange reason, she likes to wreak havoc on CD10. Surprisingly, she went away as quickly as she came. And today, she's even made herself smaller!

Today, I also managed to ask Dr.NeverGiveUp my burning question of the week:

Can sex induce a period? The answer is "Yes!"

For that reason, he advices that women trying to conceive should stay away from sex during the last 3-4 days before their period. So I was panicking for no reason when AF came on 11DPO after sex. Rest assured girls-these things do happen! And talking about sex, he has already scheduled when we should be having sex next-today (Friday), Monday and Wednesday! It's very weird having another man tell me when to have sex!

My next post-I'll let you in on the secret stuff I've been doing behind Dr.NeverGiveU's back and why I think Ms.Nasty has calmed down a notch. Stay tuned.

WTF Period On 11DPO

I'm so sad.

I knew this cycle was a bust for me. I just knew I wouldn't get pregnant given the condition I'm in. And I was so sure that I wouldn't feel upset because I was already expecting a BFN.

But what do you do when AF arrives 4 days early? Today would have been 11DPO, but I've started bleeding already. This means that I had an incredibly short luteal phase at only 10 days. Which is just Plain. Bad. News.

And I am just wondering whether the love-making we had last night brought on the period. In fact, I told hubs that it may cause it to come early, though deep down I felt it was quite unlikely given that my period was still quite a few days away. So I was really shocked to wake up and find spotting on my underwear. And bright red on the TP wipe. And it's been building up. My BBT has plunged too. I'm pretty sure this is it (AF).

It's happened to me before but usually just the day or 2 before my expected AF. But never this early. Has anyone had their periods induced by sex before? If it has happened to you before, can you please let me know because I feel like such a freak right now?

If this is a normal occurrence, then, is this why they tell you not to have sex during your 2WW if you're trying to conceive? I've heard about not exercising or having sex during the 2WW and I used to stick to it religiously, but I was beginning to think that it was all bullshit when I never got pregnant anyway. Dr.NeverGiveUp told me not to exercise in the last 3 days before AF but he never mentioned anything about sex.

So now I'm upset and confused.

I already have a long list of infertility challenges - endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroid, hormonal imbalance, irregular ovulation and bad eggs. And I really don't want to add "luteal phase defect" to it.

I've been holding up quite well the whole day, but I think I'm beginning to crack.

I'm such a walking disaster.  Sniff!