Continuing on from Boracay...
Boracay was rather fun for what it was. You can tell if you looked at me because I put on something like 2-3 kgs when I was there! Yup! There went the TCM diet!
If pregnancy experts gave a demerit point for everything I did or ate wrong, I would have flunked miserably. Well, I didn't care, cos, well,... I had no egg. They're missing! So what pregnancy? Therefore, I absolutely did not care. It was so liberating, having no rules. I guess that's why it was fun! There were milkshakes galore from the island's best fruit milkshake hut (yummmm!) --that means dairy (swoon!) and ice (swoon, swoon!)! Then there were ice-cold cokes. And swimming in icy cold water-- All the cold things that are banned for a woman who is predisposed to having a cold body. Even though Boracay was a balmy 30˚C/86˚F the water was freezing! It was funny watching everyone's reaction when they hit the water! It wasn't just me! So in short Boracay was very bad for my body.
So what has Boracay done to my body? Here comes the report card...
I went to see my usual TCM doc as soon as I got back. He was very impressed with the beautiful photos we took, but he was NOT impressed with me.
"What happened? Why are you so cold? But your Qi is really good though."
I guess there were no surprises there. I sinned. I did evil things. But I was happy! My Qi was happy!
But that got me thinking - If all the acupuncture, and herbal medicine, and moxa that he's given me for the entire past year and 2 months I was with him have not been able to strengthen my body well enough to take 2 weeks of abuse, how good of a doctor is he really? I got pregnant under his care during the first 4 months but it's been a dry 10-month spell since. I was getting impatient and worried. It's no fun celebrating a 1-year anniversary of being with your TCM doc when there are no results. Was it time to move on? Try a different doctor or method perhaps? I had told him last year that we were giving ourselves till March 2010, and then we would consider other options. But I was already itching to move on.
My heart was really heavy with indecision. I truly believed that he's a good TCM physician, but fertility wasn't one of his strong points or specialty. But who do we go to? Nobody I knew knew anyone to recommend. So here we go again. Do we go for an unknown doctor I randomly find on the internet again? I had found another TCM physician who claimed to specialize in fertility on his website. They say they are :
"..well known for treating infertility. Our successes in assisting childless couples to conceive have been one of the most rewarding part of our mission. The tears of joy and happiness in seeing proud 'parents to be' is what makes all our efforts all the more worthwhile."
That was pretty much the clincher for me, the oh-so desperate infertile.
So, the big question now --
Do we defect?
Stay tuned.
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Friday, February 5, 2010
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Can't Find My Eggs!
It's CD21 and my eggs are still missing in action! I think they've gone on STRIKE! There's usually a small storm brewing inside my ute leading up to ovulation but it's been eerily calm in there. There are no twangs, no twinges, no twitches, no pain, no fluttering! No nothing whatsoever! So I know it's not just the OPKs being their usual evil selves.
I'm really sick of the OPK's negative attitude and all, but my BBT and Fertility Friend (some friend!) seem to be in agreement with the OPKs too! It sounds like one hell of a conspiracy going on! But what can I do?
So, since my mountain of negative OPK collection over the last few days has almost reached the height of Mt Everest, I've stopped hoping obsessively for a pregnancy and have let go of that dream for this cycle. I've decided that I am not going to be all sobby and devastated if things are not going well from this point on. (Har! Har! We shall see about that when AF comes! I'm a habitual liar!) I've been putting myself under such insane pressure for nothing! Just a few days ago, this desperate-knocked-up-wannabe bawled her eyes out when hubs did not want to have sex with her because it was already very late and he had an early golf session the next morning! This desperate-knocked-up-wannabe has never cried over sex rejections, but it's like - ovulation might happen any minute now and "What? You wanna give up having a baby over golf? Golf is more important than a baby? I've been working so hard trying to make my body ready for conception and all you care about is golf?" Of course DH felt bad and apologized after that with some loving sexercise. But I didn't even ovulate the next day, or even the day after that! All that drama for nothing! So no more obsessing and worrying!
Of course I am sad and annoyed as hell over my MIA eggs! But letting go has been quite freeing! I'm like, "Whatever!" If I ovulate, I'll give myself a pat on the back, and if I don't, well then, "Whatever!"
I've broken my wheat-free, dairy-free, caffeine-free, organic diet practically every day since Thanksgiving's scrumptious and sinfully delicious spread! Today, I even had three sips of some super-strong and super-sweet Indian style chai/tea with milk -- something my TCM doc had absolutely banned me from having because it is super cooling! It's like giving chocolate to a dog - soooooo yummy but soooooo toxic for me! And the cha-cha's decided to have a break tonight too from all that work, work, work! (The cha-cha never got the memo that Baby Dancing was fun!)
So what's next? My eggs might still decide to turn up. You know, well, Whatever! I definitely know what I'm NOT gonna be doing--
I'm not gonna be holding my breath!
I'm really sick of the OPK's negative attitude and all, but my BBT and Fertility Friend (some friend!) seem to be in agreement with the OPKs too! It sounds like one hell of a conspiracy going on! But what can I do?
So, since my mountain of negative OPK collection over the last few days has almost reached the height of Mt Everest, I've stopped hoping obsessively for a pregnancy and have let go of that dream for this cycle. I've decided that I am not going to be all sobby and devastated if things are not going well from this point on. (Har! Har! We shall see about that when AF comes! I'm a habitual liar!) I've been putting myself under such insane pressure for nothing! Just a few days ago, this desperate-knocked-up-wannabe bawled her eyes out when hubs did not want to have sex with her because it was already very late and he had an early golf session the next morning! This desperate-knocked-up-wannabe has never cried over sex rejections, but it's like - ovulation might happen any minute now and "What? You wanna give up having a baby over golf? Golf is more important than a baby? I've been working so hard trying to make my body ready for conception and all you care about is golf?" Of course DH felt bad and apologized after that with some loving sexercise. But I didn't even ovulate the next day, or even the day after that! All that drama for nothing! So no more obsessing and worrying!
Of course I am sad and annoyed as hell over my MIA eggs! But letting go has been quite freeing! I'm like, "Whatever!" If I ovulate, I'll give myself a pat on the back, and if I don't, well then, "Whatever!"
I've broken my wheat-free, dairy-free, caffeine-free, organic diet practically every day since Thanksgiving's scrumptious and sinfully delicious spread! Today, I even had three sips of some super-strong and super-sweet Indian style chai/tea with milk -- something my TCM doc had absolutely banned me from having because it is super cooling! It's like giving chocolate to a dog - soooooo yummy but soooooo toxic for me! And the cha-cha's decided to have a break tonight too from all that work, work, work! (The cha-cha never got the memo that Baby Dancing was fun!)
So what's next? My eggs might still decide to turn up. You know, well, Whatever! I definitely know what I'm NOT gonna be doing--
I'm not gonna be holding my breath!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
What I Had For Dinner :-(
I was a really, really bad girl today. I binged on the worst sorts of food that you could ever eat for endometriosis and fertility-- wheat, dairy, caffeine, hormones and cold drinks!
A new mall had opened up in our neighborhood and we succumbed to the lure of TGIF, which seemed to be so happening tonight. It was packed and every table seemed to be celebrating someone's birthday.
So here's my menu of poison for the night:
APPETIZER
Fried Mac & Cheese:
Wheat and dairy galore! Great for enhancing inflammation already caused by endometriosis!
MAIN
Chicken & Shrimp Pasta in Creamy Cajun Sauce:
More wheat and dairy galore! My Endo-induced inflammation is gonna have a party!
Non-organic chicken! A shot of yummy hormones to tip my already crazy hormones off the charts
DRINKS
3 cups of cold Pepsi:
Liquid Caffeine! Wonderful for killing fertility! It's thirst-quenching coolness is wonderful for creating blood stasis, period pain and endo. Just what I need!
Now my stomach feels like there's a tornado blowing in there! I am not looking forward to what my TCM doc has to say about me tomorrow... This is pure self-sabotage. And I am sure I will pay for it dearly! But I feel so happyyyyyyyy!
Do you ever give yourself a break and succumb to the dark side occasionally...especially when it comes to food?
(Pic compliments of Zoey when he was a kitten)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Post-natal Care after Miscariage
My recovery after my miscarriage has not been an easy one, often plagued by pain during and in between Aunt Flo's visits. Although I had improved minutely from cycle to cycle, it can be seen as a regression in my condition, compared to the progress I had made before my miscarriage/pregnancy. I had been pain-free for a few months after acupuncture and herbs pre m/c, but I could not understand why I had regressed. My TCM doc told me it was because a miscarriage weakens the body, and as I had neglected to take care of my body after the m/c, I had inherited a whole new set of problems that had aggravated my endo again.
So today, I want to share about the importance of post-natal care as explained by my doctor. According to TCM, a woman who suffers a m/c has to go through the same care as a woman who has had a baby because what the body goes through is essentially the same. The body is taxed to its max with hormonal surges during pregnancy and loss of blood when the baby comes out, whether alive or not. A woman's body needs to be nourished and healed after these massive changes. In TCM practice, the woman is confined to her home for one month with rest and intensive changes to her diet and activities. She is often fed lots of ginger to expel the "wind", kept warm and banned from bathing or touching water among other things, to prevent her from getting more "wind". Failing to do so often leads to problems later in life such as arthritis and rheumatism and the sudden appearance of conditions that western medicine labels as "unexplained" illness. To illustrate the importance of post-natal care, my TCM doc related to me an incident where a head nurse from a hospital had gone swimming after 3 weeks of giving birth. That night, her body turned blue and then black and she died the next day. She wasn't even supposed to touch water, and she had instead gone to the other extreme! This is unexplained in western medicine, but TCM recognizes this as a fatal result from exposure to cold and water that adversely affected an already much weakened body.
Although I didn't go to the extreme of swimming after the m/c (it was winter anyway) I only rested (bed-ridden rather) for 4-5 days, I had my regular showers and ate burgers and icy cold coke - hardly a nourishing diet. In retrospect, these were the sorts of actions that caused me to regress, as I had completed neglected to take good care of my body. When I resumed treatment with my TCM doctor, he did confirm that I had "confinement wind" - wind that I got during the time when I should have been confined to intensive post-natal care. He said that these problems were very difficult to rid off and very, very bad as they stay with you for the rest of your life, if left untreated, developing into health problems later in life. I can see then why my progress had been extremely slow.
What I found interesting was the point he brought up about how every culture had their own post-natal care regiment, which unfortunately had started to disappear with the appearance of modern western medicine about 100 years ago. In his knowledge, even many of his patients from all parts of the world like Sweden, Germany Netherlands, Africa, had told him that they too had their own traditional post-natal practices.
I think many of these traditional practises are perceived as old wives' tales or myths today. It's important to realise that our forefather's or rather "foremothers" knew what they were doing back in those days as they had little or no medicine to help them, and their best fight against illness was prevention. This lesson has been lost with the popularity of modern western medicine that only worries about illnesses when they appear. With the kind of lifestyle that we have now and our approach to medicine today, it is no wonder why so many people in the world are ill today.
There are many IF sisters like myself who have had miscarriages and even multiple ones, who do not understand why things are not working out for them even with the help of all sorts of expensive treatments. Our continued ignorance and neglect may be contributing to our infertility. Perhaps it's time to go back to our roots and pay attention to the importance of traditional post-natal care. We owe it to ourselves to respect our bodies and give it the best care so that we can be the best possible vessel for our babies to come into this world. And be in our best shape so that we can care for them after they are born.
So today, I want to share about the importance of post-natal care as explained by my doctor. According to TCM, a woman who suffers a m/c has to go through the same care as a woman who has had a baby because what the body goes through is essentially the same. The body is taxed to its max with hormonal surges during pregnancy and loss of blood when the baby comes out, whether alive or not. A woman's body needs to be nourished and healed after these massive changes. In TCM practice, the woman is confined to her home for one month with rest and intensive changes to her diet and activities. She is often fed lots of ginger to expel the "wind", kept warm and banned from bathing or touching water among other things, to prevent her from getting more "wind". Failing to do so often leads to problems later in life such as arthritis and rheumatism and the sudden appearance of conditions that western medicine labels as "unexplained" illness. To illustrate the importance of post-natal care, my TCM doc related to me an incident where a head nurse from a hospital had gone swimming after 3 weeks of giving birth. That night, her body turned blue and then black and she died the next day. She wasn't even supposed to touch water, and she had instead gone to the other extreme! This is unexplained in western medicine, but TCM recognizes this as a fatal result from exposure to cold and water that adversely affected an already much weakened body.
Although I didn't go to the extreme of swimming after the m/c (it was winter anyway) I only rested (bed-ridden rather) for 4-5 days, I had my regular showers and ate burgers and icy cold coke - hardly a nourishing diet. In retrospect, these were the sorts of actions that caused me to regress, as I had completed neglected to take good care of my body. When I resumed treatment with my TCM doctor, he did confirm that I had "confinement wind" - wind that I got during the time when I should have been confined to intensive post-natal care. He said that these problems were very difficult to rid off and very, very bad as they stay with you for the rest of your life, if left untreated, developing into health problems later in life. I can see then why my progress had been extremely slow.
What I found interesting was the point he brought up about how every culture had their own post-natal care regiment, which unfortunately had started to disappear with the appearance of modern western medicine about 100 years ago. In his knowledge, even many of his patients from all parts of the world like Sweden, Germany Netherlands, Africa, had told him that they too had their own traditional post-natal practices.
I think many of these traditional practises are perceived as old wives' tales or myths today. It's important to realise that our forefather's or rather "foremothers" knew what they were doing back in those days as they had little or no medicine to help them, and their best fight against illness was prevention. This lesson has been lost with the popularity of modern western medicine that only worries about illnesses when they appear. With the kind of lifestyle that we have now and our approach to medicine today, it is no wonder why so many people in the world are ill today.
There are many IF sisters like myself who have had miscarriages and even multiple ones, who do not understand why things are not working out for them even with the help of all sorts of expensive treatments. Our continued ignorance and neglect may be contributing to our infertility. Perhaps it's time to go back to our roots and pay attention to the importance of traditional post-natal care. We owe it to ourselves to respect our bodies and give it the best care so that we can be the best possible vessel for our babies to come into this world. And be in our best shape so that we can care for them after they are born.
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