Monster Egg

Ms.RJ1 has turned into a MONSTER!

Today she measured in at 30mm!!! WTF? That's about 1 1/4 inch in diameter!

Apparently she found my ovary too comfortable and did not want to leave! The u/s scan showed that she's looking a bit whitish, which means that she will not ovulate. She is turning into a cyst, which will hopefully dissolve eventually (keeping my fingers crossed).

Dr.Never GiveUp came to a few conclusions about my state:

THE BAD:

I have Luteinizing Unruptured Follicle Syndrome (LUFS of LUF) which may be caused by 2 things:

1. Insufficient luteinizing hormone (LH) to trigger ovulation. LH is produced by the pituitary gland, therefore this may point to a problem with my pituitary gland
2. There is a problem in the quality of my egg (Surprise!Surprise!) whereby the "shell" may too tough for the egg to break through, even with sufficient LH

Dr.Never GiveUp noted that I did show a LH surge in my OPK, and from his years of experience, feels that the problem usually does not lie with LH production, but more towards the egg quality. He told me not to worry as he had many patients with this problem and that his chinese herbal medicine (TCM) will help in my case. He said that it is not possible to treat the pituitary gland so to speak, but he will continue to concentrate on improving egg quality.

My lining has thickened to 18mm which means that I should expect AF within the next few days.

THE GOOD:

"At least you're producing eggs!" His exact words. Whoopee???

The Itch Bitch is gone! Good riddance!

I am super horny again. And I am producing abundant clearish cervical mucous (CM), which is very strange to me during this part of the cycle. I know it couldn't possible be fertile CM since Ms.Monster is way past her fertile peak already. I asked Dr.Never GiveUp about the CM and he explained that a healthy woman typically produces 2 types of clear CM: estrogen mucous around ovulation, and progesterone mucous a few days before her period. Her sex drive will also peak around these times. Well, no wonder I'm so horny! He asked me if I my sex drive increased during these times. Since I am producing the progesterone mucous now, he would know that I was horny! I was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I told him it did, where previously I did not have this pre AF symptom. This means that my body is actually improving with all these subtle signs. Good to know that something is working!

Rotten Eggs and Itches

I haven't got anything to report but bad news.

First up, Ms.RJ1 has been nothing but a bad, stubborn egg. Four days after my last scan, my next scan on the following Monday showed that it had grown to about 17mm-Prime for ovulation! In the scan, Ms.RJ1 looked a little blurry, which indicated that it may just be ovulating or was about to. So it was sex, sex, sex after that.

On Tuesday, I decided to POAS and the OPK showed that it was almost positive, with the second line almost as dark as the control line. On Wednesday, I peed on another OPK, and the second line had gone lighter. Cool, I thought. It meant that I probably did ovulate on Monday, and my OPKs were showing that my LH surge had peaked and was already declining. So far so good.

Four days later on Friday, MsRJ1 was STILL there!

WTF! @£$*&%!!! She had swelled to about 25mm! And she had refused to leave the nest! My temperature had not risen either. After discussing it with Dr.NeverGiveUp, his conclusions were:

• My LH surge is still not strong enough to trigger the ovulation (bad news)
• I am at least producing eggs much earlier now (good news)
• If my follicle isn't released, it might turn into a cyst (bad news)
• I had only been on Royal Jelly 1 month (with a week's break in Borobudur) , which wasn't long enough to be significantly effective. He tells me that many of his patients fall pregnant on the 2nd month after starting Royal Jelly
• Ms.RJ1 was not a very good quality egg overall (bad news)

He said that since the follicle was still there, it might still ovulate, and we could still continue to try. Problem was, I had developed an effing yeast infection by then and there was no way we could try!

THIS WHOLE CYCLE IS A BUST!

So now I'm miserable about Ms.RJ1, and about that Itch Bitch! I'm attacking Itch Bitch with the Canesten 1-day pessary, and it's making me bleed a little again. I know this happens to other women, and this is the second time for me even with a 14 month-span in between attacks. This cannot be a coincidence! I am pissed that they still haven't inserted that as a side-effect on it's packaging.

I am going back this Friday for another scan. We will know what's happened to stubborn Ms.RJ1 by then. It feels really weird not being able to "try"this cycle. It feels even weirder not having the chance to mope and torture myself over the 2WW symptoms!

I think I'll go abuse my body with some caffeine and evil non-fertility friendly food now.... :-(
At least that might cheer me up a bit...

PS- Dr.NeverGiveUp had a breakthrough patient last week. A 45 year old patient had just conceived naturally under his TCM programme. She had been infertile for 12 years and had 2 failed IVFs prior to that. She's the oldest patient he ever had. I am 39 now. I still have hope!  I might look like my child's grandmother by the time I have him/her, but hey, who cares!!!

Ms. RJ1

It looks like eating all that snotty looking bee-spit@royal jelly might be doing my eggs some good after all! I went in for my u/s scan today and Dr.NeverGiveUp says I have 1 follicle growing on my left ovary! 

Its about 14mm big, and looks round and distinct. I am calling her Ms.RJ1 (Royal Jelly One).

He was very excited, saying it was a beauuuuutiful egg. He has not seen me having one this beautiful since I've come to see him. He even called Dr.Don'tWorry in to have a look. She was all smiles. "It's wonderful!" she tells me. They both looked really very pleased! 

I think they like marveling at what royal jelly has been doing for their patients. Dr.NeverGiveUp assured me that the combination of his chinese herbal medicine and royal jelly is very, very effective.

I am so happy! I am glad that all that gagging, nose-pinching, gargantuan effort to swallow this foul, expensive bee-spit twice daily is finally paying off! I don't know if the egg will develop any further but so far, this is a good sign, considering it's CD17, which is a reasonable track record for me. 

A follicle can grow up to 2mm a day and it's usually primed to be released when it's about 18mm. So we are having timed intercourse on Sunday night, and going in to have another scan of the follicle on Monday, CD20. I don't expect a BFP so soon, but hopefully, I'm on the road to super fertility! 

Return of Butt Pain

Things have not been going too well for me health-wise.

I have coughing fits now. And my voice has not returned completely. I am still averaging 4 hours sleep per night.

And my ass is throbbing like a nuclear reactor again! This endo ass pain has not made an appearance in months but it's back. And it has gone on for 2 days now.  I even felt some pain radiating through my ovaries. Sometimes I think I've conquered endo because I've had blissful months with little or no pain. But it always seems to find its way back. I guess an endo girl will always be an endo girl... :-(

I also went for a u/s scan today. Dr.NeverGiveUp was eager to get me scanned on CD13 incase the royal jelly has been working miracles on my body and causing me to ovulate early. Well, no follicles in sight. No surprise there.

It's been a sucky week!

Speechless

I'm sorry I haven't been around much. Some kind of bug's been bothering Zengirl because she has:

• misplaced her voice. Laryngitis they say.
• had mild fever for 2 days
• been coughing phlegm
• exhausted but can't sleep much
• had 19 hours sleep in 5 days = 3.8 hrs sleep per day average
• not had any appetite even though she's hungry
• lost 5 lbs

At least I don't have to obsess about these being 2WW symptoms because it's only CD10...  The weight loss is pretty cool though!

My Achy Breaky Ute

The last 2 days have not been fun for me.

After a wonderful break from endo pain last month, some achiness returned this AF on CD3. It wasn't excruciatingly painful, thank goodness - just a persistent annoying ache. But what made it worse was that gastritis turned this achey party into a double whammy. It has always been a mystery to me why the two always go hand in hand. It's as if the pain can't exist alone without his friend, gastritis. The period pain is gone now but the pain in the stomach still lingers. Recovery from gastritis always takes the longest for me, usually sticking around for 2-3 days after the period pain is long gone. It just plain sucks!

It also sucks that Dr.NeverGiveUp has asked me to increase my dosage of bee spit (royal jelly). I should finish one bottle within a week, but it has taken me two weeks. So I am now taking a heaped teaspoon of it, twice a day. I'm getting pretty efficient at the whole horrific process of downing this disgusting stuff:  Prepare menthol lozenges, and large cup of water. Pinch nose, hold, shove bee spit in mouth, concentrate hard on swallowing, gulp down water, pop lozenge in mouth. Release nose after menthol fumes have totally engulfed entire ENT system. It's a routine now. One time hubs saw me walking around pinching my nose.

"Oh! Royal Jelly huh?"

No explanation needed.

Anyway, when I had my appointment with Dr.NeverGiveUp, I told him that AF had showed up. His reply?

"Good!"

I was taken aback my his cheerful reaction.

"Why is that a good thing?" I asked.

He said that it was good that my period had come on its own- it showed that I did have eggs, although they weren't good quality. I reminded him that my FSH was very low during my last blood work and that already indicated that I have a good reserve of eggs. He seemed very pleased about that.

Anyway, Dr.NeverGiveUp believes so much in bee spit that he's asked me to come in for a u/s scan on CD13, incase I ovulate early, even though I typically ovulate very, very late or not at all!  He seems to think that this stuff is so potent that it will lure my eggs out early. Well, we shall see about that!

Aunt Flo Showed Up

It's CD 1.

My "perfect" lining makes an exit.

Another cycle bites the dust.